I have made love about what I am not getting, instead of making it about what I am giving.
This is an area I struggle with a lot, do I like admitting that "NO", but it is the truth. If I focused more on giving love and less on what I am get in return.
Love is not a feeling, it is a choice, if I base it on how I feel, well some days I may not feel like loving, because I don't feel loved, but I have to make the choice to love regardless. Jesus has shown me that Love is so much greater than what I receive, it is about what I give. Love is about dying to my desires and loving regardless of myself. That is a hard lesson, because I want to be loved, but it is about laying my life down, my wants down for the other person.
In the garden, Jesus fought to see if there was another way, but He ultimately made the choice to die on the cross for our sins. He chose to walk that path, He did it for you and me. What an example of choice He made and I fight to live for myself instead of dying to myself. Love can't be about me, it has to be first about Loving Jesus so much, that it doesn't matter if I am loved by others, because it is their choice to love.
Hard to die to self, to live selflessly, but that is what God wants of us. First to Him, than to our spouse, kids, and then to others. It may be easier to love others outside, but God has a reason He has defined for us how to love. His way, not our way. His timing, not ours. We need to be willing to forgive, because Jesus first forgave us. We ask God to forgive our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us (or do wrongs against us). We want God to forgive us, shouldn't we forgive those the same way?
Yes, I agree! A couple of years ago their was a person who I had become friends with and we had been friends for 5 years. Something bad happened in my family and I had a lot of support and thought for sure he would be one of those among my friends who would support me. Encourage me. That he did the exact opposite of love. He withdrew from me. I tried to reason all of the possibilities, and kept telling myself to not take it personal. Something must be going on his own life. I prayed a lot to God about my hurts about him. The situation in my family did not resolve for 5 months, and I thought again that he would jump in with rejoicing for me. He did not. And all through this time, God was calling me to love him in certain ways. And sometimes I did fine, other times it was so hard but I continue to obey God in small things of love towards him despite his lack of friendship. For a full year I just loved him as God called me to. And then one day he responded to me like nothing had happened. And we continue to be friends. And there are several of other people the same. So easy to love those who love us. Help us Lord continually to love regardless of how others love us. God bless your day.
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