The company I work for is moving. In the process of packing, the guy I share an office with found a piece of Styrofoam, about 3 feet long, 1.5 feet wide and probably 3 inches thick. He had joked around for days that he was going to crack it over my head when I was not expecting it.
Today I was facing my office cubicle and working, the next thing I know is I feel a crushing sensation from my head as the Styrofoam piece was broken over my head. I am not really sure if it hurt, but seeing the stars and hearing the noise just made it that much more funny. It echoed in our office and through the engineering department. It was a good laugh as I opened my eyes to see the aftermath of what had happened. The piece broke into 3 pieces and many shards of Styrofoam. All I can say is it was like when you have an accident and you close your eyes during the crash, you hear the noise, feel the sensation and have a flash of light as you are whacked in the head. Not a lot of pain, but enough to wake me up. I will let him know I was already awake, I didn't need that.
I thought I would share a funny story with you as, I have shared many serious points in the last week, let me end this week with humor.
Have a wonderful Friday and enjoy the gift of today. It is wrapped in the present.
Friday, January 17, 2014
Thursday, January 16, 2014
Slow Fade
"Slow Fade"
Be careful little eyes what you see
It's the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings
Be careful little feet where you go
For it's the little feet behind you that are sure to follow
It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It's a slow fade, it's a slow fade
Be careful little ears what you hear
When flattery leads to compromise, the end is always near
Be careful little lips what you say
For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray
It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
The journey from your mind to your hands
Is shorter than you're thinking
Be careful if you think you stand
You just might be sinking
It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
Daddies never crumble in a day
Families never crumble in a day
Oh be careful little eyes what see
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
For the Father up above is looking down in love
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
It's the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings
Be careful little feet where you go
For it's the little feet behind you that are sure to follow
It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It's a slow fade, it's a slow fade
Be careful little ears what you hear
When flattery leads to compromise, the end is always near
Be careful little lips what you say
For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray
It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
The journey from your mind to your hands
Is shorter than you're thinking
Be careful if you think you stand
You just might be sinking
It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
Daddies never crumble in a day
Families never crumble in a day
Oh be careful little eyes what see
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
For the Father up above is looking down in love
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
Spiritual Growth
Do you feel stuck, can't move forward, destine to repeat the same mistakes over and over again? Does that sound familiar?
It is a common problem in our day. We get to busy and we miss the very thing that can help us feel like we are moving forward, that we are not lost in the shuffle of life. Are you willing to hear the answer? Do you want to know how to move forward? Well, whether or not you are ready to hear it, I am going to share it with you. I missed it for way to long, I failed at this very thing and I am seeing how important it is. It isn't just in hearing a message on the radio or even TV, it is actually doing it. I personally struggle with reading, not my favorite thing to do, but it can't be about me, but someone much greater then I.
We need to be in the word of God, the bible. Not just self help books, but the actual book that was written to help us along the way. I have heard many people say, well how can that help me along my way, what can it teach me today. In fact I have said it, but the word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path. It not only is a light, it is a sword, it is a weapon against the unseen. It is a weapon against our sins. If we just read it we will begin to take it into our hearts, the road to the head to the heart is the longest road and maybe the hardest one as well. Having head knowledge is good, but having heart knowledge is even better. If we know we love someone that is one thing, but you believe that you love that person no matter what, it is the difference between night and day. The heart love is different then the head love and many people miss that. Head is based on things, heart is based on belief, faith and more.
Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Is it time to take the bible off the shelf, dust it off and start reading the words in it?
2 Timothy 3:16-17 ESV
All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work.
Psalm 119:105 ESV
Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.
Matthew 4:4 ESV
But he answered, “It is written, “‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.’”
Joshua 1:8 ESV
This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success.
Romans 15:4 ESV
For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.
Hebrews 4:12 ESV
For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.
1 Peter 2:2 ESV
Like newborn infants, long for the pure spiritual milk, that by it you may grow up into salvation—
Psalm 119:10-11 ESV
With my whole heart I seek you; let me not wander from your commandments! I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.
It is a common problem in our day. We get to busy and we miss the very thing that can help us feel like we are moving forward, that we are not lost in the shuffle of life. Are you willing to hear the answer? Do you want to know how to move forward? Well, whether or not you are ready to hear it, I am going to share it with you. I missed it for way to long, I failed at this very thing and I am seeing how important it is. It isn't just in hearing a message on the radio or even TV, it is actually doing it. I personally struggle with reading, not my favorite thing to do, but it can't be about me, but someone much greater then I.
We need to be in the word of God, the bible. Not just self help books, but the actual book that was written to help us along the way. I have heard many people say, well how can that help me along my way, what can it teach me today. In fact I have said it, but the word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path. It not only is a light, it is a sword, it is a weapon against the unseen. It is a weapon against our sins. If we just read it we will begin to take it into our hearts, the road to the head to the heart is the longest road and maybe the hardest one as well. Having head knowledge is good, but having heart knowledge is even better. If we know we love someone that is one thing, but you believe that you love that person no matter what, it is the difference between night and day. The heart love is different then the head love and many people miss that. Head is based on things, heart is based on belief, faith and more.
Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Is it time to take the bible off the shelf, dust it off and start reading the words in it?
2 Timothy 3:16-17 ESV
All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work.
Psalm 119:105 ESV
Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.
Matthew 4:4 ESV
But he answered, “It is written, “‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.’”
Joshua 1:8 ESV
This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success.
Romans 15:4 ESV
For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.
Hebrews 4:12 ESV
For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.
1 Peter 2:2 ESV
Like newborn infants, long for the pure spiritual milk, that by it you may grow up into salvation—
Psalm 119:10-11 ESV
With my whole heart I seek you; let me not wander from your commandments! I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.
And this is just some of them. I think the first one is the best. The scripture is for teaching, reproof, training in righteousness.
Is it time that you start nurturing ourselves with the scriptures that God has given us to teach us. Let the scriptures travel from head knowledge to heart knowledge, read and meditate on them day and night, let them sink in. Learn from them and let them help you to change your focus from yourself to God focus.
Have a happy Thursday and may you not just read the word, but begin to know it, believe it and keep it in your heart.
Wednesday, January 15, 2014
A song about healing
"The Healing Has Begun"
By: Matthew West
It is time to let the healing begin. We all have suffered and been hurt, but holding onto the past will only destroy what you have for today. Allow God to start the healing process, don't be afraid. Isn't it time to forgive the past. Unforgiveness will only hold you back, don't allow it to hold you back any longer. Forgiveness starts with you, it is your choice. Don't let the past destroy what God wants to do for you today and in the future.
By: Matthew West
You have carried the weight of your secret for way too long
Thinking if there is a place called forgiveness you don't belong
Oh, but freedom can never be found behind those walls
So just let 'em fall, just let 'em fall
Oh, the healing has begun
Oh, the healing has begun
How long has been since you felt anything but shame
Child, lift up your eyes 'cause mercy remembers your name
And those tears you've been holding back, let 'em fall down like rain
'Cause today is the day, yeah today is the day
Oh, the healing has begun [x4]
Halellujah, halellujah
Just lift your eyes
Lay it down
What once was lost
Has now been found, oh
There's a world full of people dying from broken hearts
Holding on to the guilt, thinking they fell too far
So don't be afraid to show 'em your beautiful scars
'Cause they're the proof, yeah you're the proof
Oh, the healing has begun [x6]
Thinking if there is a place called forgiveness you don't belong
Oh, but freedom can never be found behind those walls
So just let 'em fall, just let 'em fall
Oh, the healing has begun
Oh, the healing has begun
How long has been since you felt anything but shame
Child, lift up your eyes 'cause mercy remembers your name
And those tears you've been holding back, let 'em fall down like rain
'Cause today is the day, yeah today is the day
Oh, the healing has begun [x4]
Halellujah, halellujah
Just lift your eyes
Lay it down
What once was lost
Has now been found, oh
There's a world full of people dying from broken hearts
Holding on to the guilt, thinking they fell too far
So don't be afraid to show 'em your beautiful scars
'Cause they're the proof, yeah you're the proof
Oh, the healing has begun [x6]
My Way
I wanted life my way. I wanted what I wanted every step of the way. I wanted to feel loved, to feel included to feel important. I stuck my head out, I reached into peoples lives to try and help, but when God isn't part of it, it is easy to get lost in the mess. It is easy to allow the very thing that we are speaking about to take control and get in the way. My life, my priorities were all messed up, they focused on the very thing that destroyed who I am... They focused on me, what I wanted, where I wanted to be, what I wanted to be doing, who I wanted to be with, how I wanted to feel all of these were choices I made. You see I made life about the most important person... LOL And for some reason I thought it was me.
When we take a step back and look at our lives, can you say that you are any different? I am not judging you, because I have 100000000000000000000000000 fingers pointing back at me. I am not perfect, I have my struggles, I fall down and I am working allowing God to take those area's and turn them into something incredible. It is when I say it is not about me, but about God. It is about letting Jesus make the changes in me. When I am able to say not my way Lord, but yours. Let your will be done in my life. I failed time and time again and when I wanted it to go my way, it went the wrong way. When I tried to do it with my own power, well I petered out. But when I say Lord it has to be you, not me is when things start making more sense.
Putting Jesus first in all we do means just that. Not 90% of the things, but all the things. It is allowing Him to work no matter how painful it gets, because I had some painful things that I had to let Him deal with. Feelings that I had struggled with for many years, but it isn't even 99% it is all of it. Are you holding back like I did? Are you saying God work in me, but not this area, or that area those are off limits? Because in order to be completed, we must allow Him into every area. No more holding back, no more not letting Him take control.
The one area I struggle with is being alone, but it was when I said Lord if this desert is where you want me, then I will be here. It is allowing the very things that I have wanted to let them go. The friends, the people I can be with, a girlfriend, a wife, a best friend. I had to let that all go and say Lord I am all yours even the area's that I wanted to hide are yours. Allowing Him to take everything and what I get back isn't what I expect, but probably more. Only time will tell. It is in COMPLETE surrender. Are you willing to surrender completely to Jesus and let Him be in control.
J = JESUS
O = OTHERS
Y = OU
Unthinkable joy. Is your marriage in trouble? Put Jesus first, then others and last see you. I have heard many people say I do everything my spouse wants and still no change. Well, stop and see what is wrong in that statement... Do you see it? Put Jesus first, not your spouse... It is when we are able to put Jesus before others that we are able to see what He wants. Take a minute and reflect think and see what God has for you today.
Have a wonderful Wednesday and see that God has a blessing for you today. Don't be afraid, for He is with you, allow Him to be what He needs to be in your life. He is with you always.
As I saved this and published it, I sensed I needed to add this song to it.
"Empty My Hands"
When we take a step back and look at our lives, can you say that you are any different? I am not judging you, because I have 100000000000000000000000000 fingers pointing back at me. I am not perfect, I have my struggles, I fall down and I am working allowing God to take those area's and turn them into something incredible. It is when I say it is not about me, but about God. It is about letting Jesus make the changes in me. When I am able to say not my way Lord, but yours. Let your will be done in my life. I failed time and time again and when I wanted it to go my way, it went the wrong way. When I tried to do it with my own power, well I petered out. But when I say Lord it has to be you, not me is when things start making more sense.
Putting Jesus first in all we do means just that. Not 90% of the things, but all the things. It is allowing Him to work no matter how painful it gets, because I had some painful things that I had to let Him deal with. Feelings that I had struggled with for many years, but it isn't even 99% it is all of it. Are you holding back like I did? Are you saying God work in me, but not this area, or that area those are off limits? Because in order to be completed, we must allow Him into every area. No more holding back, no more not letting Him take control.
The one area I struggle with is being alone, but it was when I said Lord if this desert is where you want me, then I will be here. It is allowing the very things that I have wanted to let them go. The friends, the people I can be with, a girlfriend, a wife, a best friend. I had to let that all go and say Lord I am all yours even the area's that I wanted to hide are yours. Allowing Him to take everything and what I get back isn't what I expect, but probably more. Only time will tell. It is in COMPLETE surrender. Are you willing to surrender completely to Jesus and let Him be in control.
J = JESUS
O = OTHERS
Y = OU
Unthinkable joy. Is your marriage in trouble? Put Jesus first, then others and last see you. I have heard many people say I do everything my spouse wants and still no change. Well, stop and see what is wrong in that statement... Do you see it? Put Jesus first, not your spouse... It is when we are able to put Jesus before others that we are able to see what He wants. Take a minute and reflect think and see what God has for you today.
Have a wonderful Wednesday and see that God has a blessing for you today. Don't be afraid, for He is with you, allow Him to be what He needs to be in your life. He is with you always.
As I saved this and published it, I sensed I needed to add this song to it.
"Empty My Hands"
I've got voices in my head and they are so strong
And I'm getting sick of this oh Lord, how long
Will I be haunted by the fear that I believe
My hands like locks on cages
Of these dreams I can't set free
But if I let these dreams die
If I lay down all my wounded pride
If I let these dreams die
Will I find that letting go lets me come alive
So empty my hands
Fill up my heart
Capture my mind with you
These voices speak instead and what's right is wrong
And I'm giving into them, please Lord, how long
Will I be held captive by the lies that I believe
My heart's in constant chaos and it keeps me so deceived
But if I let these dreams die
If I could just lay down my dark desire
If I let these dreams die
Will I find you brought me back to life
So empty my hands
Fill up my heart
Capture my mind with you
'Cause my mind is like a building burning down
I need your grace to keep me, keep me from the ground
And my heart is just a prisoner of war
A slave to what it wants and to what I'm fighting for
So won't you empty my hands
Fill up my heart
Capture my mind with you
Empty my hands
Fill up my heart
Capture my mind with you
With you
I need you now
And I'm getting sick of this oh Lord, how long
Will I be haunted by the fear that I believe
My hands like locks on cages
Of these dreams I can't set free
But if I let these dreams die
If I lay down all my wounded pride
If I let these dreams die
Will I find that letting go lets me come alive
So empty my hands
Fill up my heart
Capture my mind with you
These voices speak instead and what's right is wrong
And I'm giving into them, please Lord, how long
Will I be held captive by the lies that I believe
My heart's in constant chaos and it keeps me so deceived
But if I let these dreams die
If I could just lay down my dark desire
If I let these dreams die
Will I find you brought me back to life
So empty my hands
Fill up my heart
Capture my mind with you
'Cause my mind is like a building burning down
I need your grace to keep me, keep me from the ground
And my heart is just a prisoner of war
A slave to what it wants and to what I'm fighting for
So won't you empty my hands
Fill up my heart
Capture my mind with you
Empty my hands
Fill up my heart
Capture my mind with you
With you
I need you now
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
A Question for my readers
I was flipping through blogs last night and I came across one that was just hard to read, was more about preaching then sharing the struggles that the blogger had and then sharing with the readers about how to be free from the struggles. I found myself wondering, am I to preachy when writing these? Am I turning my readers off? Please feel free to share your thoughts with me. You can comment, or you can e-mail them to me. Thank you again for reading.
When I wrote this, I had no idea that I would have almost 2,000 hits. This is what I see:
Granted probably almost 200 of the hits are from spam, but I am guessing that a little over 1,600 are from actual people. I figured I would share what I see with you.
Thank you again for being open to read what I sense I need to share. Thank you for taking the time to read it. I will continue to write it as I feel led. If there is anything you want me to write about, please share with me.
Thank you and have a wonderful Tuesday. May God richly bless you today.
When I wrote this, I had no idea that I would have almost 2,000 hits. This is what I see:
Thank you again for being open to read what I sense I need to share. Thank you for taking the time to read it. I will continue to write it as I feel led. If there is anything you want me to write about, please share with me.
Thank you and have a wonderful Tuesday. May God richly bless you today.
The Desert
What do we know about the desert. During the day it can be hot and at night it can be cold. It is a wasteland of nothing other then a few cactus's, snakes, lizards, birds and a lot of sand, but there isn't much to think about out there. Is it some place we want to go, not really, at least I don't find it to be that particular to want to go there.
We go through many stages in our lives, at least I have. I have gone through a time of learning, a time of getting what I wanted, a time of sharing and I am in a time that some would call the desert. It is when I am not getting anything, but my one on one time with my Heavenly Father. It is when we put our will aside, what we want aside and say not my will, yours Lord. It is not my way, but your way. It is in the desert that I am able to see how my actions of the past have affect or effected others, how what I have said affected people around me. It can't be about me, but about God, about His kingdom.
The desert period is long and hard, but worth it. In the desert we learn to look for not the water that we drink daily (or should drink daily), but the living water, the water that will continue to quench my thirst even when I am unable to drink. It changes my focus not for what I want, but for what God wants in me. This time can't be about me, but about God.
I struggled with being alone, being without, but am I really alone? I believe one can not live with another until they learn to live by themselves. Isn't it easy to have something, but not realize what you have? I found it that way in life, I was married, not once but twice, I had, but I wanted more instead of being thankful for the person I was, not being thankful in it at all. Life is difficult, being married is not easy, but being alone is not any better. The grass is not greener on the other side of the fence, it is for a time, but soon the grass will die and what is left is the same hard times, the same struggles, the same things unless you take the time to walk in the desert, to heal, to see what life is really about.
Life is a choice, Love is a choice, Forgiveness is a choice, excepting Love is a choice, you see it is our choice and I had forgotten that. I had forgotten so much and today I share with you what I forgot to help you remember what life really is about. It can't be about yourself, it has to be about Jesus, others and you. When we are able to see that, we are able to except life, except it and live it. Are you ready to live/love life? Take a stand today. If that means a walk in the desert, pray that God will give you a desert to walk in. Pray that He will provide for you the silence that you need to walk in.
Hard times are not easy, but they are harder when we only focus on what we want, what isn't working for us or how others have let us down. Don't blame God, thank Him for your struggles, because in the struggles we learn and grow.
We go through many stages in our lives, at least I have. I have gone through a time of learning, a time of getting what I wanted, a time of sharing and I am in a time that some would call the desert. It is when I am not getting anything, but my one on one time with my Heavenly Father. It is when we put our will aside, what we want aside and say not my will, yours Lord. It is not my way, but your way. It is in the desert that I am able to see how my actions of the past have affect or effected others, how what I have said affected people around me. It can't be about me, but about God, about His kingdom.
The desert period is long and hard, but worth it. In the desert we learn to look for not the water that we drink daily (or should drink daily), but the living water, the water that will continue to quench my thirst even when I am unable to drink. It changes my focus not for what I want, but for what God wants in me. This time can't be about me, but about God.
I struggled with being alone, being without, but am I really alone? I believe one can not live with another until they learn to live by themselves. Isn't it easy to have something, but not realize what you have? I found it that way in life, I was married, not once but twice, I had, but I wanted more instead of being thankful for the person I was, not being thankful in it at all. Life is difficult, being married is not easy, but being alone is not any better. The grass is not greener on the other side of the fence, it is for a time, but soon the grass will die and what is left is the same hard times, the same struggles, the same things unless you take the time to walk in the desert, to heal, to see what life is really about.
Life is a choice, Love is a choice, Forgiveness is a choice, excepting Love is a choice, you see it is our choice and I had forgotten that. I had forgotten so much and today I share with you what I forgot to help you remember what life really is about. It can't be about yourself, it has to be about Jesus, others and you. When we are able to see that, we are able to except life, except it and live it. Are you ready to live/love life? Take a stand today. If that means a walk in the desert, pray that God will give you a desert to walk in. Pray that He will provide for you the silence that you need to walk in.
Hard times are not easy, but they are harder when we only focus on what we want, what isn't working for us or how others have let us down. Don't blame God, thank Him for your struggles, because in the struggles we learn and grow.
Monday, January 13, 2014
Thank You
To all that read this, I am not sure who you are, but thank you for allowing me to share my struggles with you, to share my victories with you and to even share my losses with you.
Someone asked me why I changed from writing vaguely about God, to including God in my messages. I wasn't sure how to answer them as I stumble and I fall repeatedly, but it isn't about my falling, but how God teaches me through my falling down. I changed my writing, because it isn't through my strength, through my knowledge that I am made free, it is only through God that He changes me. He is the only way, He is the only truth and when we seek Him is when we find what we have been searching for. It was when I realized that I couldn't write as if I had all the answers, but only that God is the only answer.
It is in complete surrendering of what I want, the way I want to be, to how God wants me to be. I have many struggles, but God is faithful to deliver me from them, but I have to make the right choices. Someday maybe I will write about them, but until that day I will write about what God is doing in me and teaching me. No one is perfect, we all have struggles and just because I am a Christian doesn't mean I am not going to fail because I will, but it is admitting my failures, it is confessing my sins that He is faithful and just to forgive them. Thank God He forgives my sins.
Don't let the past define who you are today, make a choice, make the change to look for Him for everything and stop looking to yourself for Hope, because it is short lived. He is the only way.
If you want prayer for anything, please let me know.
Have a wonderful Monday and May God bless you today.
Someone asked me why I changed from writing vaguely about God, to including God in my messages. I wasn't sure how to answer them as I stumble and I fall repeatedly, but it isn't about my falling, but how God teaches me through my falling down. I changed my writing, because it isn't through my strength, through my knowledge that I am made free, it is only through God that He changes me. He is the only way, He is the only truth and when we seek Him is when we find what we have been searching for. It was when I realized that I couldn't write as if I had all the answers, but only that God is the only answer.
It is in complete surrendering of what I want, the way I want to be, to how God wants me to be. I have many struggles, but God is faithful to deliver me from them, but I have to make the right choices. Someday maybe I will write about them, but until that day I will write about what God is doing in me and teaching me. No one is perfect, we all have struggles and just because I am a Christian doesn't mean I am not going to fail because I will, but it is admitting my failures, it is confessing my sins that He is faithful and just to forgive them. Thank God He forgives my sins.
Don't let the past define who you are today, make a choice, make the change to look for Him for everything and stop looking to yourself for Hope, because it is short lived. He is the only way.
If you want prayer for anything, please let me know.
Have a wonderful Monday and May God bless you today.
A New Day
Today is a new day, this day contains a new way, but it has to be taken, it has to be chosen. Are you willing to look at your life and chose the new way or will life be about what it always has been?
My life was all about what I wanted, what drove me was to be happy, was to feel anything, whether good or bad. I was depressed at times, because life was all about me. I tried to fill it with relationships, but that didn't work because they were all about me. I lost or maybe I had never seen that life can't be about me. It was enough to drive me crazy, but when I thought I had someone to define me, I was good. But the honest truth is no person can define another person. The only truth that I found was I was lost, I was alone and I feared being more alone and so I held onto the person that I thought defined me. When my second wife left me, I thought life was over, the definition of who I was, was tied up in who we where. I was broken and alone without the definition of who I thought I was. I said I was a father, a husband, a friend, a step-father, but that is only who I was because that is what I tried to define myself as. It was a very hard couple of years, waiting to see what God did in my marriage, what God did in my wife's heart, but then I realized it can't be about my wife, it can't be about her kids, it has to be about God.
Defining ourselves can't be about are we a good husband/wife, father/mother, friend, it has to be about what God wants of us. It is when we are able to put God before ourselves, before what we want that we are able to see what He wants or at least be defined by Him. It isn't a choice that you make once in a lifetime, it is a moment by moment choice, because what tries to come first in all we do? We try to come first no matter what choices we are making. I got lost and in my losing of myself I lost the very thing that has to define who I am. My strength can not come from me, it has to come from God.
When we start our day, it isn't about what I want this day to hold, but about what God wants this day to hold for me. When we are able to put God first in all we do, is when we can walk free from depression, addictions and so much more, but it is a challenge. God did not say it was going to be easy, He did not say this road isn't full of hard times, but He has given us choices to make along the way. What do you want this day to contain?
I heard a song last night and I really think it is so important. God wants us to be completed in Him, God wants us to define who we are through Him. Are you willing to surrender what you want and give it completely to God?
"Keep Making Me"
Are you willing to be broken, to be empty, to be lonely to have God fill you with Himself? It is a hard step, but it is only through God that this can happen.
My life was all about what I wanted, what drove me was to be happy, was to feel anything, whether good or bad. I was depressed at times, because life was all about me. I tried to fill it with relationships, but that didn't work because they were all about me. I lost or maybe I had never seen that life can't be about me. It was enough to drive me crazy, but when I thought I had someone to define me, I was good. But the honest truth is no person can define another person. The only truth that I found was I was lost, I was alone and I feared being more alone and so I held onto the person that I thought defined me. When my second wife left me, I thought life was over, the definition of who I was, was tied up in who we where. I was broken and alone without the definition of who I thought I was. I said I was a father, a husband, a friend, a step-father, but that is only who I was because that is what I tried to define myself as. It was a very hard couple of years, waiting to see what God did in my marriage, what God did in my wife's heart, but then I realized it can't be about my wife, it can't be about her kids, it has to be about God.
Defining ourselves can't be about are we a good husband/wife, father/mother, friend, it has to be about what God wants of us. It is when we are able to put God before ourselves, before what we want that we are able to see what He wants or at least be defined by Him. It isn't a choice that you make once in a lifetime, it is a moment by moment choice, because what tries to come first in all we do? We try to come first no matter what choices we are making. I got lost and in my losing of myself I lost the very thing that has to define who I am. My strength can not come from me, it has to come from God.
When we start our day, it isn't about what I want this day to hold, but about what God wants this day to hold for me. When we are able to put God first in all we do, is when we can walk free from depression, addictions and so much more, but it is a challenge. God did not say it was going to be easy, He did not say this road isn't full of hard times, but He has given us choices to make along the way. What do you want this day to contain?
I heard a song last night and I really think it is so important. God wants us to be completed in Him, God wants us to define who we are through Him. Are you willing to surrender what you want and give it completely to God?
"Keep Making Me"
Make me broken
So I can be healed
‘Cause I’m so calloused
And now I can’t feel
I want to run to You
With heart wide open
Make me broken
Make empty
So I can be filled
‘Cause I’m still holding
Onto my will
And I’m completed
When you are with me
Make me empty
[Chorus:]
‘Til You are my one desire
‘Til You are my one true love
‘Til You are my breath, my everything
Lord, please keep making me
Make me lonely
So I can be Yours
‘Til I want no one
More than You, Lord
‘Cause in the darkness
I know You will hold me
Make me lonely
One last thing... I thought that this was not possible, I thought it was impossible, I thought it wasn't for me, I thought a lot of things and found out in order for God to fill me, to define me that I needed to let go of the very things that I thought defined who I am. It is only then that He can define us. We become callous and full of pain, but it is only God that can heal us. Smoking will not heal us, going from relationship to relationship will not heal us, being loose will not heal us, but being what God is defining for us will.
More of Him, less of me until He is all I see.
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