I listen to this song and it is called a "Slow Fade". It talks about how if we introduce negatives or ad things into our relationships it slowly pulls us apart. It is so true, it is like telling one little lie, know what happens, soon that lie has grown. Their is no such thing as a little lie.
In our relationships, it is key to set our priorities, it is so easy to focus on the one we are with during easy times, but what happens when the times get hard. If we lose our focus, our thoughts start to wander. The more allow this to happen, the more that fade is happening.
You may wonder how to you keep your focus on the one you are with. Your thoughts go to what they are not or what they don't have. But when you place them at the top and say no person can be what they are to me. That means you don't compare anyone to them. When you struggle to do this, it comes down to choices. When something or someone creeps in, you must stop and change your perspective.
It is time to see that we are not all perfect and hard times will come into relationships, but are we going to run or are we going to stand. Today I urge you to stand. Don't let the slow fade happen to you and if it is, take a moment and recognize what it is and stand and turn from it.
The Song Lyrics:
Be careful little eyes what you see
It's the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings
Be careful little feet where you go
For it's the little feet behind you that are sure to follow
It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It's a slow fade, it's a slow fade
Be careful little ears what you hear
When flattery leads to compromise, the end is always near
Be careful little lips what you say
For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray
It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
The journey from your mind to your hands
Is shorter than you're thinking
Be careful if you think you stand
You just might be sinking
It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
Daddies never crumble in a day
Families never crumble in a day
End
Take a moment and think of where you are in your relationships. Is it time to stop the fade and to put your thoughts, your mind back on course. Today change starts with you. Don't say it can't happen or it is to late, because today is a new day. Turn your heart, mind away from what is causing you to fade ad focus on where you want to be. If it is a person, then cut them out of your life, if it is porn, or negative people, walk away, because you are stronger then they are ad today take a stand. Do you want to crumble or remain strong? Today make a choice and walk in it. Stick to it and believe.
Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Do not waiver, no more fence walking stick to the one you are with and set it in motion.
I posted this once before, but I wanted to post it again, because I think it is so important. This is one of the demons (life struggles) that I deal with daily. I fight not to let the fade start happening and it is just one of those things that will be a struggle for me until it isn't.
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Recap
Fear: The more you feed into the fear the more it will grow the more powerful it will become.
The Pink Elephant in the closet: If you ignore it, it will get bigger. You must confront it in order to make it go away. Don't let it control you. Take control and change your thinking about what it is. It is not a pink wonderful elephant, it is sent to destroy you and what you are wanting. It is sent to come between you and your goals and it is time for it to go. Don't create another skeleton in the closet, get rid of it.
Negativity: Much like fear, the more you feed it the more it will grow. It is easy to feed it when we focus on the doubts, the fears, the reasons why or we play what if games. The more we do this, the bigger the negativity becomes. We become negative in regards to ourselves, it is time to see what it is doing to you, to your relationships.
Positivity: Replace negative statements with positive one. Instead of using negative words, start using positive ones. Start changing yourself and things around you will change. Start looking at life not as a loss, but as you can do it. Start making the choices to change and in doing so, you will see other things change.
Desires of the flesh, are the pink elephants. Be done with them, walk free from them because they will only destroy what has been built so far.
Demons: We all have them and they are just like the pink elephants and the desires of the flesh. But the more you hide your demons the more they grow, the more you think you are alone. It is time that you start being honest with the ones you are with about the demons, the secrets, we hide because we think we are different, but if we would just talk we would find out that we are not alone.
It is time we start learning these things, start acknowledging them instead of hiding them. What does hiding anything do? It creates bigger problems, be honest and be honest with who you are with. Don't hide anything under the carpet anymore.
The Pink Elephant in the closet: If you ignore it, it will get bigger. You must confront it in order to make it go away. Don't let it control you. Take control and change your thinking about what it is. It is not a pink wonderful elephant, it is sent to destroy you and what you are wanting. It is sent to come between you and your goals and it is time for it to go. Don't create another skeleton in the closet, get rid of it.
Negativity: Much like fear, the more you feed it the more it will grow. It is easy to feed it when we focus on the doubts, the fears, the reasons why or we play what if games. The more we do this, the bigger the negativity becomes. We become negative in regards to ourselves, it is time to see what it is doing to you, to your relationships.
Positivity: Replace negative statements with positive one. Instead of using negative words, start using positive ones. Start changing yourself and things around you will change. Start looking at life not as a loss, but as you can do it. Start making the choices to change and in doing so, you will see other things change.
Desires of the flesh, are the pink elephants. Be done with them, walk free from them because they will only destroy what has been built so far.
Demons: We all have them and they are just like the pink elephants and the desires of the flesh. But the more you hide your demons the more they grow, the more you think you are alone. It is time that you start being honest with the ones you are with about the demons, the secrets, we hide because we think we are different, but if we would just talk we would find out that we are not alone.
It is time we start learning these things, start acknowledging them instead of hiding them. What does hiding anything do? It creates bigger problems, be honest and be honest with who you are with. Don't hide anything under the carpet anymore.
Desires of the Flesh
Recent thinking has turned my thoughts. As you can tell by my thought pattern, it is random at times and then it get stuck on one topic. Last night after not sleeping for very long in days, I crashed and it was amazing, giving up the fight for control of what is happening around me and realizing that that it is happening since I am battling to see why it is happening. I didn't want to see if I just surrendered to the fact that I can't change it and all things will happen in the perfect timing.
I know what does all of that have to do with our desires. We all desire things, but in those desires if we feed them, what happens to them? They grow, bigger and bigger until we can't control them. Can you believe we all have the some of the same desires? If we are married, we think we are crazy to think about being with someone else... We must not love our mate that much if we do that, but the truth is we do love them, it is just that our flesh wants more. What do I do with those feelings, it seems if I ignore them they grow, or do I give into them.
Now during the next few minutes do not think about the pink elephant hiding in the closet. Didn't I say don't think about it? Why are you still thinking about it? See our brains may make no sense to us why we continue to feed the thoughts, but it doesn't mean we want that thing in the closet, it just means we think about it, we entertain the idea and we think we want it, but in fact we do not. When we give into the idea that we want that pink elephant and we go and get it, it is then that we realize the pink elephant isn't what we thought it was going to be. In the process of first thinking about the pink elephant we made it cute and furry and sweet, but we missed what it really is. It is an idea and that is all. Do you have any pink elephants in your closet?
How do you get rid of pink elephants? That is a good question... No, really in order to get ride of them, you have to stop feeding the ideas, dreaming about how things will be when you get that pink elephant out of the closet. You need to change your focus from the pink elephant, to what the underlying issue is. The issue is we want to have things easy, when in fact life is more difficult and the pink elephant seems easy to get.
Everytime you think about the pink elephant, either change your focus or think of something ugly about that pink elephant. Stop dreaming about how it could be and live for what it is. Work on what the real issue is, instead of seeing the dreams as happy, see them as sucking the life from you. I think there was a movie about that.
I know what does all of that have to do with our desires. We all desire things, but in those desires if we feed them, what happens to them? They grow, bigger and bigger until we can't control them. Can you believe we all have the some of the same desires? If we are married, we think we are crazy to think about being with someone else... We must not love our mate that much if we do that, but the truth is we do love them, it is just that our flesh wants more. What do I do with those feelings, it seems if I ignore them they grow, or do I give into them.
Now during the next few minutes do not think about the pink elephant hiding in the closet. Didn't I say don't think about it? Why are you still thinking about it? See our brains may make no sense to us why we continue to feed the thoughts, but it doesn't mean we want that thing in the closet, it just means we think about it, we entertain the idea and we think we want it, but in fact we do not. When we give into the idea that we want that pink elephant and we go and get it, it is then that we realize the pink elephant isn't what we thought it was going to be. In the process of first thinking about the pink elephant we made it cute and furry and sweet, but we missed what it really is. It is an idea and that is all. Do you have any pink elephants in your closet?
How do you get rid of pink elephants? That is a good question... No, really in order to get ride of them, you have to stop feeding the ideas, dreaming about how things will be when you get that pink elephant out of the closet. You need to change your focus from the pink elephant, to what the underlying issue is. The issue is we want to have things easy, when in fact life is more difficult and the pink elephant seems easy to get.
Everytime you think about the pink elephant, either change your focus or think of something ugly about that pink elephant. Stop dreaming about how it could be and live for what it is. Work on what the real issue is, instead of seeing the dreams as happy, see them as sucking the life from you. I think there was a movie about that.
Monday, October 7, 2013
Wondering
Why is it so difficult to understand love?
I failed at understanding this. I thought love was all about me. Sex and love making are not the same thing. Saying I love you means nothing unless you show her by your actions that you do and no it isn't just doing house chores it is doing more.
I have talked with more people in hard situations. There husbands or wives have forgotten what it is to be in love. Men search for love elsewhere, they take up there time with there own things and forget that marriage isn't just about them. Guys, you won the most amazing prize, don't just put it on a shelf and forget about it. Your wives deserve attention, they deserve you to surrender your wants and to put them before yourselves, just as you did when you were dating. Isn't it time you stop searching out others and fix your marriage?
We all do it, we think because we look at someone else that we must not love the one we are with. We start to question our feelings for that person, wondering did we make a mistake... Or the spark is gone, have you ever thought that. Well, change starts with you, if you want the spark back light the fire.
Guys, this is for you. Sex is a prize, it isn't what love is. Love is us laying down what we want and giving our wives what they desire. Love is not a fight. Love making does not just happen in the bedroom, it happens when you get up in the morning, before work when you kiss her good bye. No, love making is not sex, it is what you do to build the connection all day long. Just because she doesn't want sex does not mean she loves you less. Work on making her feel special every single day. Stop whining that you didn't get to watch the game and start seeing that the more you give, the more she will give.
Everyone stop looking outside of your marriage for what is missing in it. Change starts with you. We say if she would do this differently, I would be happy. Guess what, stop looking for things in her or him and start asking yourself what can I do to make this marriage, this relationship unbreakable.
Isn't it time we step up our game and start putting the ones we are with before ourselves?
True Love
True love is something many people rarely experience, but true love does exist, but people are to afraid of the cost.
True love is surrendering ourselves, our wants, our needs for the person we love. People believe love is about themselves, but love asks for nothing, love gives all and in order to love, we have to be willing to lay down our lives, our wants for the one we love. It is not about me, love is much greater then one can imagine and the power of love is a complete union of two souls.
True love is letting go of the past, what he/she put you through, it is not making excuses for our actions it is saying plain and simple I was wrong. I didn't see that until it was to late. I cheated on my first wife for so many reasons, but I was wrong. My second wife I hurt because I wanted it my way, that is not love. Love forgets the past, love learns and grows and can you imagine if both of you let go of all the hurts and reconnected with the lessons you have learned, your bond your unity would be stronger then ever.
Wait I can hear it now, but Geoff. I know this is not easy to read, in fact you may be pissed off, but why are you mad? Love is greater then people realize. Men think sex is love, women think that connection is love, but know what is love. Love is surrendering the fact that if my wife thinks connection is love, then I need to connect and if she loves me and she surrenders the idea of connection and says OK love is sex, guess what happens, this incredible bond is beginning to form where, each of you put what the other wants first. No longer is it about myself, it is about her and with her it isn't the about her it is about me.
But Geoff this is easier said then done. Yep you are right, but remember that cost I was talking about? This is the cost of it all. We do not want to surrender who we are anymore, my identity, my thoughts, my love, me, me, me... Love isn't about me, it is about the person you love.
True love is surrendering ourselves, our wants, our needs for the person we love. People believe love is about themselves, but love asks for nothing, love gives all and in order to love, we have to be willing to lay down our lives, our wants for the one we love. It is not about me, love is much greater then one can imagine and the power of love is a complete union of two souls.
True love is letting go of the past, what he/she put you through, it is not making excuses for our actions it is saying plain and simple I was wrong. I didn't see that until it was to late. I cheated on my first wife for so many reasons, but I was wrong. My second wife I hurt because I wanted it my way, that is not love. Love forgets the past, love learns and grows and can you imagine if both of you let go of all the hurts and reconnected with the lessons you have learned, your bond your unity would be stronger then ever.
Wait I can hear it now, but Geoff. I know this is not easy to read, in fact you may be pissed off, but why are you mad? Love is greater then people realize. Men think sex is love, women think that connection is love, but know what is love. Love is surrendering the fact that if my wife thinks connection is love, then I need to connect and if she loves me and she surrenders the idea of connection and says OK love is sex, guess what happens, this incredible bond is beginning to form where, each of you put what the other wants first. No longer is it about myself, it is about her and with her it isn't the about her it is about me.
But Geoff this is easier said then done. Yep you are right, but remember that cost I was talking about? This is the cost of it all. We do not want to surrender who we are anymore, my identity, my thoughts, my love, me, me, me... Love isn't about me, it is about the person you love.
Sunday, October 6, 2013
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)