Taking Life Forgranted

Have you ever noticed how fast life goes by? We tend to wake up in the morning and the day zips by. Soon are days become a blur and we wonder what has happened to our life, where did it go? Do you remember what you ate for breakfast yesterday? Our lives we think will go on, day after day and we don't look at the small amazing things that surround us.

It is so easy to miss the most incredible things, because we are so focused on work, or the things we have to do, we miss the small things. The blessings in are life don't always come from the big things, but they come in the littlest of packages. They aren't always what we are expecting, but alot of times what we least expect.

We can get lost in the fact that life is flying by or we can stop and see the most beautiful and realize that life is here and is part of us. It is time to see that life has a blessing for each one of us, but do you want to get lost in the fact that life is flying by?

It is time to stop and look and see life for what it is instead of what we have lost. It is time to let go of the past and see today for the small miracle that it has and today has so much for each of us. It is in our perspective, so if you don't see it change your perspective.

What is Love

Love is such a wonderful thing, but it also can be used to hurt. Love is so much more then a word. It is a choice. When we tell our kids we love them there is no grounds to how much or what they can and can not do. Some days they drive us crazy and push all our buttons, but we still love them. Some days it is a choice, but we continue to love them no matter what. Love is not just a feeling, it is not just a word, but more. True love asks for nothing in return, it is the absence of wants and it gives regardless.

When married, if both parties can see what love truly is, then it is no longer about a feeling or just a word it becomes an action, it flows through you words, your actions and even your reactions. Love surrenders the idea of always want and except that one will not always have. It gives just like we give our kids. Can you imagine a marriage full of unconditional love? I can and yes it can happen, but like everything it takes work.

Who is willing to do the work it takes to let the past go and see what today has for you? Today I see life for a brand new day and a brand new way. It is your choice and it can be full or it can be empty, but it is your choice to make, your decision. Do you believe today you can love unconditionally without asking for anything?

I have chosen to love without boundaries, to surrender my wants and see that love is greater then all of that. Today will you make the choice to love the one you are with and continue to strive to love no matter how hard.

Have a wonderful day.

Not for the Faint of Heart

What I may write here you may not understand or maybe you will not agree with and all of it is your choice. So please buckle up and enjoy the ride that I will be writing about here.

I have written some about our hearts and minds, but I have not talked to much about our souls. Do you believe you have one? I believe I have one. What do you think our souls do? Have you ever heard anyone tell someone you have an old soul? I believe it has a lot to do with how our minds work, how we think, how we feel, how we express ourselves. I don't understand everything fully and maybe I am not correct, but in all I have experienced and seen, I have to think that it is our connection to others.

Now what I am going to talk about, maybe some of you will not agree with, maybe some of you want to not read on, because it is about how sex affects our souls. Have you ever heard of a soul mate? Now have you ever heard of soul ties? Both of those is what I want to discuss here.

We hear people call each other their soul mates, we can read it in books, watch it on TV etc. But what makes one person see their soul mate and another person believe that they have no soul to mate? Let me discuss that more.

When we have sex, both mental and physically, we link souls. We join, now imagine that joining does not break when the other person is still in our lives, they are around us enough that the connection was not severed. That tie that was formed the first time you had sex, the first time you gave yourself to them doesn't have a chance to break, it continues to be their. The next person you are with you have sex with them, now the original tie is their and now you have added another one to it, do you see where I am going with this? A soul tie is a powerful thing to married couples, but just think if the union of marriage was begun when one of the parties if not both had unreconciled soul ties. You see the issue, that soul mate feeling may not be formed in each of them. One may feel it but not the other, it is the joining of souls. If you think of pine sap, have you ever gotten stuck in it? Our soul is like that, you connect with one person and the soul connects to theirs, no add another person, and another and soon your soul is stretched out and can you imagine trying to connect with someone else? It is time we break the soul ties with those other people.

What now you understand how I think. It is time that we break the unions, the ties with other people. Some are harder then others, but I believe there is ways to stop that from continuing to grow. What I am going to write here may be hard to understand, maybe it makes sense, maybe not, but I think it has to happen otherwise our souls will not be able to latch onto the one you are with.

I will use my ex wife for example, if I continue to have contact with her in regards to my personal life, in regards to letting her flirt with me, or hit on me, the tie remains, because I am giving into something that was once their. The constant communication can fuel the tie, it can bind you to that person and it can confuse your heart and mind into being confused to what is happening. Each time the soul stretches to another and the ties are not broken, soon you are lost and confused and you will not know what love is, even if it hits you right in the face.

This is why it is so important we stay with the one we are with. It is important both mentally and physically. We look at how many confused people are out their and we ask others why that is, have you ever? It is time we remain pure and break the ties that have bound us to others and so that way we can move forward into the next step of our lives.

If you are married and experiencing a disconnection, it is time to wonder what your soul is saying. Stop holding onto the past, let it go, it will help reduce the effects of the soul ties. Soul ties can destroy a relationship, be prepared to walk away from the negative affects that people have on us, walk free from the ties that people think they can control us. It is time to be free from the past so we can move to tomorrow free and clear.

I have a warning here, before entering any relationship you need to be free from the past ones, because if you let them hold onto you, anchor you, they will not let you move forward and your relationship will be full of trouble and confusion. The past ones need to be dealt with before any others can be started.

We all have souls, treat yours with respect and know that the past does not have to destroy your future. Let go, break the ties that bind and move to a new today. It is your choice.

At any price

Maybe I am not the best one to talk about the above subject. I have learned a lot about myself in the last year plus when the choices I made were not about the other one I was with. I admit my failing and maybe in admitting what has happened in my life I can help you realize that in your relationships you have choices, they are your choices.

A few key points about relationships are you ready?

Where you put your time, money and focus will be where your heart goes. Have you ever noticed that? If you put all your time, work and energy into work, where does your heart want to be? If you focus on buying that car, you save and save for it, you have your heart set on receiving it. Do you see my point here? If you spend your extra time and energy in talking with another woman other then your wife, your heart will go towards that other person, you add confusion into your relationship, because no longer is your focus on the one you are with. Do you see the problem here? Have you ever looked at the ads of men seeking women or anything like that? It makes me mad when I see a man post, he is looking for a woman to talk with, because his wife isn't doing it for him. She isn't doing it because he is no longer focused on her. Do you see the issues here? It is plain and simply, yet we make it so confusing. Let me cover it again... Are you ready????

Where you put your time, money, energy, focus is where your heart will go. Start focusing on your wife, change your perspective and you change your circumstances.

Be thankful in all things. Stop focusing on the negative in your relationship. Have you noticed that you look at your relationship as how negative everything is? Stop looking for the pink elephant and start being thankful in what is happening. When you first met the man or woman you are with, do you remember being thankful for their laugh, their smile, or just being thankful for how they are. Stop looking for the negatives and start being thankful for what you have. Today it is about being thankful, stop asking for everything and start being thankful for everything you have. Stop asking your wife for her to do this or that and be thankful in all she does for you.

Be thankful in all things, start small and work up.

Do you get the idea of this whole relationship advice? If you change your perspective, you change your view point, you start to change and you see not what was not done, but all the things that have been done. Today is about change, do you see that? It is about being thankful it is about going above and beyond the call and taking the steps not to ruin what you have, but to build it and grow it into something so much more incredible.

One last thing for today, are you ready? Being thankful one day will not change your actions, or your wife's reactions. It will take time, build and let the relationship grow with you. Stop looking for change over night, not realistic, but put the time and energy back into your relationship and watch what happens.

Growing Pains

I have noticed one main thing in most everything I do. People are afraid of change, whether you are talking about change to a new process at work, or a change in supervision, people are afraid of change. Have you noticed that?

If people are so afraid of change when it is about work, just imagine how afraid they are of changing themselves. I admit change is scary, because who knows what we are changing into, but what is more scary, it would be staying the same way for the rest of your life.

I walked through life as a child, wanting what I wanted when I wanted it. I didn't put other people before me, nor did I put other peoples feelings before mine. I looked at life as it was all about Geoff, all the things I wanted and it didn't matter what my wife said, it was what I wanted that mattered. I thought everything had to be about me. When things didn't go my way, I made sure with not hurtful words, but controlling words that they would go my way. I didn't think about the big picture. I looked at the word as what I wanted. Does that sound like anything that you may go through or that you do?

My wife left me, I do not blame her looking back at how I was, but she left. It was painful, but now I look back and I have to thank her for leaving, because it was the cold hard fact that I couldn't make life about me anymore. It wasn't about what I wanted, I had to change. But for me to change I had to lose and I lost. I don't want other people to go through what I have gone through and learning the hard way is not fun, it is painful and it tears you up inside. Then changing on top of all of that, you think change is painful on it's own, try doing it when in pain already. Do you understand my point here? (To my wife, thank you for showing me that life is not about me, I am sorry for ever making it all about me).

I am trying to say, that life is as difficult as we make it, change does hurt, but it is better to really look at your life now, before you go through a life changing experience and then adding change on top of that. It is time to take responsibility for your actions, stop pointing fingers and start looking at yourself. Are you being selfish? Are you not listening to others, and only wanting things your way or no way? Well, today is the first day of the rest of your life, do you want to make a change in who you are? Guess, what... You can do it, but you have to want it and believe in yourself, believe that you want that change, just one step at a time. Admit your faults to your loved ones, ask them to help you. Ask for forgiveness, don't let who you were, affect how you want to be. Today the past is behind you, but what is here is a choice that you want to be different.

Change begins with you, you can't blame issues on others anymore, start looking right at yourself, stop looking at others. I continue to learn and grow even when it hurts. No one said that growing up was going to be easy, just like when we were kids, going through those growth spurts were not easy. Don't give up, change is all part of growing.

Are you walking through life as a zombie?

I thought about all the catch phrases I could us, to grab your attention to make this seem even more interesting then it actually may be, but the truth we are all in the same boat. People wandering through life as zombies. We are afraid to put ourselves out there. We are afraid of our own shadows. We walk through life wondering if anyone else is like we are, but we do not ask, because no one wants to be truthful with their own feelings, let alone tell us that we are not alone. We struggle to see the truth in everything we do, we wonder if life is really like this or is it a dream. Could this all be a dream? No, it isn’t dream, it is life.

Some people get that this is life, but they want to live it in there own ways, hiding from others. Hiding the truth that they have seen. Yes, you get the occasional person trying to share with you the knowledge they have gained through walking life, but it is up to us if we want to listen to them or not. We have choices to make, do you want to make choices to change the way you have learned to walk through life as a zombie, excepting your daily life just how it is. Lost in your own emotions, lost and unable to see the truth even if it was right in front of you. Blaming your wrong choices on everyone around you, blaming everyone else for where you find yourself, or really where you do not find yourself.

We look at others lives and say we want what they have, but when you break down the walls of what they have, they are lost and just putting on an act to make it seem real to the people looking in. They want to feel, to live to, but no one knows how. Or is there hope?

I was one of those people that walked through life as a zombie, lost in my own feelings surrounded by my own thoughts and me. My way or no way. My thoughts and I didn’t want to listen to anyone else, I wanted what I wanted and I wanted it now. But then I had a realization that life was not what others defined for me, but how I saw it. I needed to define life for me and in doing so, it would set things into motion. Most people want to hide their true feelings from everyone else for fear maybe they are wrong. But what makes someone else’s feelings wrong? Is it our own fears that drive us to the point of insanity? We are lost, but where is the truth? Who carries the truth, where do we find it.

There are many people that say they have the truth, they know the way. But it takes us making a choice to find the way they chose. Maybe their choice is not the choice we need to make. Have you ever tried to break down the feelings that you have and why you may have those feelings? I have and it isn’t a pretty picture, it isn’t a picture I would like to draw, but in order to express the true nature of who we are, we need to break down the feelings, to break down our doubts, to dive deep into ourselves to find the truth. It is possible to do, but the choice is yours to do it. We can go to a psychologist, therapist or we can see it for ourselves.

You have probably read a lot of self help books, listened to the people talk on the radio, or even bought the books because you wanted to know the truth. How do we find the truth that is meant for us?

Our lives are filled with many choices and in those choices we can see life or death. It is the choice that will drive you forward or that will hold you back. Have you ever heard of our life defined as a choice? I don’t know if I had, but we can get busy living, or just realize death will take us soon enough. Our lives our short, some shorter then others, some longer then others, but in the life we have; do you want to lose it lost in your own self doubt, or see what life has for you? These are choices no one else can make for you, no one can drive you to see the truth, only you can find the courage within to say I want a different life. Do you have that courage? Do you see the path that is before you? You probably see no path before you, if you really want to break it down, you see an endless road of going to work, getting up and doing the same things over and over again and in that is there life? No there is nothing, there is only the damnation of living this life and preparing for death. Is that where you want to be?

I have thought long and hard about this and how to write this, but nothing was coming to me. It was like a sea of blank white paper. Unable to put the thoughts that where trapped in my head down on it, how could anyone find help in what I have gone through. How could anyone see the truth in the area’s I have struggled with, but these are all questions we ask ourselves each day. Maybe we have just stopped asking it to ourselves and have resolved to fill in the gaps with nothing. We pick up things in order to escape our own lives, we hide behind what was formed in us, to escape to worlds that other people have created, because we can’t face our own torment.

Today it is no longer about what others do, but about what you do. It is about reading and seeing the truths that life has to offer, it is about not being a zombie walking through life just to move and breath, but seeing that your life has potential to be something much more then it ever was before. That no longer do you have to base where you are from the past, but base it on today. People are tied up in the past, they see only the past and only what they have done. How many times have you heard or have you said if only, I wish if… etc. Then you are not alone, but people don’t want to admit that to anyone else, they want to think they are alone, that there is no way out, but there is and no longer do you have to struggle, but that there is hope for a brand new day and a brand new way. Do you want that? Do you believe that today you can have that? Don’t give me some stupid pat answer that you give your kids, or you give your parents, because that is what you think they want to hear, it is time that you start diving deeper into your feelings of why you are just giving answers with no feelings, that you are just beating around the bush for fear of finding the truth in the bush. The truth is, it is a choice to live or let death take you.

What if we all just said do we want to live or die? It is a choice and most people will say I want to live, but that is because they are afraid of telling people the real truth, that they are struggling to see the reason they are alive, that they struggle to see life. Maybe if you stop looking for it, because most of the time it is right there before your eyes, but you are afraid to see the happiness that you can feel, that you can have. Maybe you are afraid that it is fake, just like you have been for so long that you figure it is fake too. Maybe it is time to stop thinking and start breathing, maybe it is time to actually make the choice to live not for the past, but for what is here today.

We all have been caught up in our past, we get lost in the pain and confusion of what was, instead of seeing life for what it has for us. We focus on what was taken, the bad choices that we made or others made around us, we want to defend to make excuses for where we are, instead of seeing life not for what it was, but for what it is. Are you one of the people that just want your life defined by your past, or do you want to start defining your own life? It is your choice, it is in that there is hope if you see not what was, but what life has for you today.

We were lost, but now we are found. Do you want to find yourself? The number one way to start finding who you are, stop looking for others to find you. Start acknowledging your life, your feelings, you are real. You are not a zombie, you are someone with great feelings, great potential and it is a process, but in order to start the process you have to take the first step.

Daring to Love (Unconditionally)

Why would I write such a title, because above all else, love is a choice. Yes, when you first fall for the other person, you tend to not focus on the things that may drive you crazy, but as the blissfulness fades and reality sets in, we tend to see more of the persons faults we are with. Love is a choice at this point. Love isn't just a word to through around, it is an action, not a reaction. It is a struggle some days and some days it is easy. Just like I wrote about in the "Easy Way" we tend to think love will be easy all the time, but it is not. We think when love gets hard, that we are no longer in love. Men think love means sex, ok at least some men think that.

Have you ever noticed in marriage, that you get married, you love doing things together and you love spending time together. When the bliss of marriage starts wearing thin, you wonder if you did the right thing. You talk to other people about your concerns and soon your mind is filled with the thoughts that maybe you made the wrong choice. It is easy to forget why we fell in love with the person in the first place. Maybe we say it was forced, maybe we say we where in a bad spot and it was a bad choice, but maybe we just fell in love with the person, because there is so much to love and just like my pink elephant example, when people put doubt in our mind, the doubt grows and it is hard to let the doubt and fear go.

We tend to forget the very things that we fell in love with, when confronted with other choices. Or we see other marriages and we say we want that, or we see other people going out and having a good time (that is how our brain sees it), but the good times wear thin really quickly. We think we are missing so much by being with one person, but what we don't realize is that we are gaining life and happiness. We have forgotten how to date, how to keep on courting our spouses. It is about giving the other person the same things we want. It is freedom, but it is love.

I have read and heard there are 5 languages of love that different people understand. We all love differently and we all understand love differently, it is learning the love language of your spouse. Here are the different ones:

1. Words of affirmation
2. Acts of service (this is without being asked)!!!
3. Receiving gifts
4. Quality time (This does not just mean sex...)
5. Physical touch

What love language does your spouse like? If you do not know, then you need to figure it out. It is time that you stop making excuses about falling out of love and start choosing to love regardless. It is about doing things and expecting nothing in return. It is about giving and yes giving. It isn't about the easy way. Ignite the fire, it is your choice. Do you want to learn to love or look for the easy way?

Daring to love is a choice, it is your choice and by loving the other person unconditionally means that no matter what they do or say, you will still love them. No matter what happens you have laid down your life for them and you will continue to do so, because that is what love is. Love is taking of yourself and giving regardless of how you feel. Do you know how hard that is to do? Some would say impossible, but all things are possible. Do you believe that love is worth it? I do and I believe that the one you are with is worth the love you can give them, it is a choice and today it is a choice where you surrender your very wants to love the other no matter what, no matter how bad your day was, it is about giving and asking nothing in return. When one can lay down their life for the one they claim to love, that is true love. When one surrenders the very thought of others and puts his or her spouse before all else, that is love. When one does not ring their own bell or toot their own horn, that is love. It is time we start learning the true meaning of the word love.

If you love your kids, do you love them unconditionally. Is it easy all the time? At times do you want to throw in the towel? Yes you do, but they are your kids and you know that you are their parent and you don't give up. So the same thing goes with marriage.** It is time that we start seeing the truth for what it is and not what others make it.

It is time to dare to love our spouses, it is time we see and learn the true meaning of the word love. It is time to stop looking for others and start looking right at home. Are you ready? I will write more on love in the future, this is just the beginning.

**There are deal breakers in a marriage and/or relationship.  If you are being beaten physically, mentally or emotionally abused, you will need to take corrective actions. I am not saying stay with the person that is causing you harm. 

Easy Way

Have you noticed in life we want things quick and easy. What is the biggest restaurant chain? It is McDonalds. When trying to lose weight what do people do, they try and buy pills to take to burn fat the easy way. In everyday life we want and we want more, but what are we doing to reach the goals that we have set for ourselves?

Are we actually doing the work it takes, are we striving for excellence in all we do? In your marriage/relationships are you doing just what it takes to get by or are you going above and beyond the call? At work are you just doing the bare minimal to get a paycheck? In your kids lives are you being a parent to them and teaching them the value of life, of love? In your friendships are you being a true friend or are you just doing enough to be called a somewhat friend?

Are you seeing a trend, we like things the easy way. When the going gets tough, what do the tough do? It says they get going, but why not make it when the going gets tough, the tough learn and grow, they work on figuring out the solutions to the problems, they work to become better husbands or even wives, or girlfriends or boyfriends, they work to become better parents, because life is not just staying in one place, it is learning and growing, it is changing.

Change begins with you, that is my favorite saying now, because to many times we try and change the people around us, but we are afraid to look at ourselves and see that change needs to happen to us. We can't have everything the easy way anymore, that it is going to take work, that it is going to take struggles and hard times, life isn't easy if you want to live it. Life is only easy if you want to lay down and watch the clouds pass you by and even with that you will struggle. Today it is about choices, do you want to learn and grow or do you want to give up?

Today the choice is yours, do you want to give up. Do you want to continue pointing fingers and saying if they would change life would be so much easier, but let me tell you even if they change and you have not, life will not be easier. It isn't about putting patches on the holes in our lives, it is about repair and growing and learning. It is about changing and in the changing it will not be easy, but it will be worth it and you will grow and learn so much. Stop looking for the easy way out and start seeing life for what it is, it is a choice and the choice begins with you.