I think most people struggle with doubt. I fight a battle each day to stay focused on the truth, to stay away from the doubt, to see the positive in what is happening or should I say what isn't happening. There are things that get me to sink into the despair and yesterday was a struggle for me. I sunk deep, deeper then I have sunk in a while. I focused on circumstances, things that popped into my head, ideas that I have fought with and I gave into the doubt, it slowly consumed me, making it easier to give into fear and soon I felt all alone, struggling to keep my head above water, drowning in my own sea and that sea was built around the sea of self pity and doubt.
I hate admitting my own struggles, because who wants to say they do these things. Who like admitting there fears in their marriage, or with their kids. No body wants to fail, but in order to learn I think we need to admit our short comings. In school they tested us to see if we knew the information, in life the tests are living each day. Are you passing or failing the tests of life? I know for me some days are a bigger struggle then others.
I know my fears and doubts, like one I will share. Maybe I will be alone for the rest of my life. Maybe that sounds silly to you, but I wonder with my past could it be what my future holds. We all struggle to see the truth, but do we hold onto the wrong things in order to try and stay afloat? Or do you hold onto negatives in order to feel alive?
One thing I know for sure, when i struggle with something and it is bringing me down, I must cut it out of my life. It can't be allowed to continue, because it is like a disease, it will soon take over more areas of my life if I do not cut it out. Same with doubt and fear, they must be cut off in order for the disease to stop spreading.
Today do you see any diseases in your life? Something that is coming between you and what you strive for, between you and your partner, your kids, your family? If you do, you must cut it out, otherwise the disease will spread and once it goes to far it may just kill you, or your relationship, you closeness to your kids, your respect for yourself.
Today is the first day of the rest of your life, what are you going to do with it?
Saturday, September 21, 2013
Friday, September 20, 2013
Our Words
Our words are many and yet how many are real. We make promise and vows, but yet we break them with our thoughts and fears. Are words lost to what they truly mean, or is it us that fears the truth and it is not what we want to hear.
I think it is time we speak less, make the words you say count, make the vows you take stick, take each day and remember the words you speak and make them be a part of who you are. Our actions must line up with our words, or we speak for nothing and we are made a fool. When you say you love someone, then love them, not just with words, but with your actions. When one has no words, how will they speak? What does your actions say, do they define you as who you want to be?
Today take a count of the words you speak, many or few, but make the ones you say count. Remember the promise you have made, the vows you have taken, remember who you are. Fear may hold you, but it does no longer have to rule you. If you want your words to count, remember them, write them upon yourself and learn that we all have room to grow.
Don't let the words you speak be lost in the meaningless rant of so many more. Isn't it time for our words to mean something? I believe it is, what do the words you speak mean?
I think it is time we speak less, make the words you say count, make the vows you take stick, take each day and remember the words you speak and make them be a part of who you are. Our actions must line up with our words, or we speak for nothing and we are made a fool. When you say you love someone, then love them, not just with words, but with your actions. When one has no words, how will they speak? What does your actions say, do they define you as who you want to be?
Today take a count of the words you speak, many or few, but make the ones you say count. Remember the promise you have made, the vows you have taken, remember who you are. Fear may hold you, but it does no longer have to rule you. If you want your words to count, remember them, write them upon yourself and learn that we all have room to grow.
Don't let the words you speak be lost in the meaningless rant of so many more. Isn't it time for our words to mean something? I believe it is, what do the words you speak mean?
Fear, Loneliness and Doubt
A house divided will surely fall, but one built on a solid foundation will remain, will grow and flourish. A house built on fear will crumble, build your relationships on a friendship, let it grow and blossom and soon it will be an unshakable house.
We humans love letting the big three into our lives, but the more we entertain them, the stronger the hold is on our lives, on who we want to be. How many times have you thought you did not deserve love, or you feared failure our you felt defeated. Did you doubt the love you had or have for your partner? Did you feed that doubt wondering why you married in the first place? Many of us do that, but what we do with it that matters. Will you continue to let the big three win, or is it time to be done with them? I have felt the loneliness take hold and drive out the hope, the grace, but as I struggle to see the truth I would continue to let the fear in, I would doubt what I have heard and seen and in doing so I let failure take hold.
Time for the big three has passed, but what is here now is the truth. The truth will set you free and you will be free indeed. It is time to face our fears, admit our doubts and know that the loneliness will pass and what will replace it is hope for a new day.
No one is to far gone and yes there is hope enough for all. It is time to stop feeding the big three, they are not your friends and they do not get to stay. A house divided amongst itself will fall, but one built on truth, hope, love and all the other ones will stand. Is it time for your house to stand, build it brick by brick and stand with your partner.
Love is a choice, today chose to LOVE the one you are with, stop looking for reasons you can't, or why you don't deserve it, see it as a gift and see the hope for a solid marriage, relationship and more. Don't give in any longer, for today stand and be counted, not for the three, but for who you are becoming.
Thursday, September 19, 2013
Who are you?
Is the person we are defined by what we do? Is it defined by who we are with? What makes each of us different? What make us the same?
I don't generally start a post with questions, but I want to challenge you to think about your life. What has defined you up until this moment? What do you want to define you? It is your choice and today you can start defining yourself not by how it was, but how it is and how it will be. How do you want your life to be? If you died today, how would other remember you?
I don't generally start a post with questions, but I want to challenge you to think about your life. What has defined you up until this moment? What do you want to define you? It is your choice and today you can start defining yourself not by how it was, but how it is and how it will be. How do you want your life to be? If you died today, how would other remember you?
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
The Beauty of a Sunset
The sky was so beautiful tonight. It was like a painting, the moon rising in the east and the sun setting to the west. It was just such an incredible way to end the evening. I thought I would share it with you.
Just Suppose
Just Suppose
Author unknown
If all that we say in a single day,
with never a word left out,
were painted each night in clear black and white,
it would prove queer reading no doubt.
And then just suppose,
ere our eyes we would close,
we must read the whole record through.
Then wouldn't we sigh, and wouldn't we try,
a great deal less talking to do?
And I more than half think that many a kink,
would be smoother in life's tangled thread,
if half that we say in a single day,
were left forever unsaid.
Author unknown
If all that we say in a single day,
with never a word left out,
were painted each night in clear black and white,
it would prove queer reading no doubt.
And then just suppose,
ere our eyes we would close,
we must read the whole record through.
Then wouldn't we sigh, and wouldn't we try,
a great deal less talking to do?
And I more than half think that many a kink,
would be smoother in life's tangled thread,
if half that we say in a single day,
were left forever unsaid.
The Moon
The moon was setting in the west, as I drove along it was high in the sky. It was a pail white color, not really that beautiful, but a little chunk was missing from it. It was the only thing in the sky, there were no clouds and it beamed down on me. As I continued on my way, I saw the moon change, it dropped lower and lower in the sky. The color of the moon changed to a orange yellow color and the what was around the moon changed as well. The color was beautiful as it got lower in the sky and the size of the moon appeared to change as well. It was so beautiful.
I couldn't wait to get over every hill to see what the moon looked like. I kept an eye on it and I wished that my eyes could take a picture and print it out on here. I continued my drive and it continued to change and soon each hill I wondered if it was the last time I would see the moon. The trees where obscuring my view and soon on my last rise up the hill, my anticipation had grown, because it was getting more and more beautiful as I drove. I got to the top of the hill only to see the trees had hidden the moon from my view. I so wanted to race to see what it looked like, but the faster I drove, I wasn't able to see the moon again.
It was such an incredible sight, I wanted to see it again, I yearned to see it in all its beauty, but it was hidden from me. I could think it was lost, but yet it will be out again tonight and probably will not be missing that chunk any longer.
Today maybe you have chased something and lost, but don't look at the loss, look at the gain. Today you have gained a greater understanding, you have seen beauty and you have a picture of what you would like to see again. I know for me, I could look at my losses and see them as failure, but I see them as a step closer to what I will find, maybe not over the next hill, or the next mountain, but it is closer then we may think. Don't lose hope, for hope is just like the moon, it shines down on us and helps guide us along the way.
I couldn't wait to get over every hill to see what the moon looked like. I kept an eye on it and I wished that my eyes could take a picture and print it out on here. I continued my drive and it continued to change and soon each hill I wondered if it was the last time I would see the moon. The trees where obscuring my view and soon on my last rise up the hill, my anticipation had grown, because it was getting more and more beautiful as I drove. I got to the top of the hill only to see the trees had hidden the moon from my view. I so wanted to race to see what it looked like, but the faster I drove, I wasn't able to see the moon again.
It was such an incredible sight, I wanted to see it again, I yearned to see it in all its beauty, but it was hidden from me. I could think it was lost, but yet it will be out again tonight and probably will not be missing that chunk any longer.
Today maybe you have chased something and lost, but don't look at the loss, look at the gain. Today you have gained a greater understanding, you have seen beauty and you have a picture of what you would like to see again. I know for me, I could look at my losses and see them as failure, but I see them as a step closer to what I will find, maybe not over the next hill, or the next mountain, but it is closer then we may think. Don't lose hope, for hope is just like the moon, it shines down on us and helps guide us along the way.
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
Everything happens for a reason
I truly believe that "everything happens for a reason". Through my life when a door has shut, I spend countless time trying to force it open, ut what I end up finding is not the same thing that I once thought was there. Which leads me to believe once a door is shut, I should take that as a sign and leave the door shut.
We look for reasons why things are alright, but how often do we listen to that little voice saying this isn't right, or don't do this or don't turn that way. Have you ever had that happen to you? I know I have and when I didn't listen to that voice all hell broke lose. That little voice may be hard to hear sometimes, but when we don't listen to it, the voice saying I told you so, is much louder.
It is OK to struggle, but watch when doors close, because everything happens for a reason. Don't look at the doors shutting as bad, be thankful even in it. In the thanksgiving is so much more.
Listen to that little voice. Doors closing are not bad, just away to get our attention and show us that is not the way. We focus to much on the negative of things, now change your perspective and see the positive.
The Prize
Today I am going to keep it short and simple. We all have prizes in our life in which we strive for, our goals, our ideas, our hope and dreams, those are what I consider prizes. When we remove our eyes from the prize, we change our focus and in changing that focus is when we start feeling lost, or we give into things that aren't what we want.
Have you ever had the feeling to stray from the prize, but when you reach the other thing, it has taken you so far off course that you wonder if you can get back? You feel lost, you feel alone and in the feeling you feel like you have failed at reaching the original prize. What are you goals in life? Do you strive to have a better marriage? A better relationship? A better friendship with the one you love? If those are some of your goals, as soon as you let negative influences in (those would be anything that leads you away from your goal), you have taken your eyes off the prize. Your walking down a different road and that road will lead you to a place in which you may not be able to turn back.
Where do you find yourself in life today? Are you walking away from your prize? Turn back now, because it isn't to late, reach and strive for a better relationship, dig your heals in and know that you can do it, but you have to strive for it. Yes there will be struggles, who doesn't have struggles, yes the one we love may not know how to deal with our pressing in, but if we continue to do it, it becomes the norm, we strive for better and better and in that striving we will grow and change. It is in that, in which we can reach the prize.
Our journey is not completed in a day, it is one day at a time. But if it doesn't seem to be working, we change the environment, not the who we are with. Does that make sense? The more we jump ship, the more we will find ourselves swimming and lost. Today it is about staying the course, strive to do better in all you do and you will see that the ship is worth staying on until the course is completed.
Have you ever had the feeling to stray from the prize, but when you reach the other thing, it has taken you so far off course that you wonder if you can get back? You feel lost, you feel alone and in the feeling you feel like you have failed at reaching the original prize. What are you goals in life? Do you strive to have a better marriage? A better relationship? A better friendship with the one you love? If those are some of your goals, as soon as you let negative influences in (those would be anything that leads you away from your goal), you have taken your eyes off the prize. Your walking down a different road and that road will lead you to a place in which you may not be able to turn back.
Where do you find yourself in life today? Are you walking away from your prize? Turn back now, because it isn't to late, reach and strive for a better relationship, dig your heals in and know that you can do it, but you have to strive for it. Yes there will be struggles, who doesn't have struggles, yes the one we love may not know how to deal with our pressing in, but if we continue to do it, it becomes the norm, we strive for better and better and in that striving we will grow and change. It is in that, in which we can reach the prize.
Our journey is not completed in a day, it is one day at a time. But if it doesn't seem to be working, we change the environment, not the who we are with. Does that make sense? The more we jump ship, the more we will find ourselves swimming and lost. Today it is about staying the course, strive to do better in all you do and you will see that the ship is worth staying on until the course is completed.
Monday, September 16, 2013
The Cost of "LOVE"
If we love someone and we give them 100%, what will we get back?
We only get back what they are willing to give us, but should that change how much we give?
The answer is NO. We give not for what we receive, we give because we say we love. The word love is giving up of who we are for the person we say we love. It means surrendering (maybe that is not an understood word) but we give to that person irregardless of what we receive back. A gift is given without expecting anything in return, love is given without expecting anything in return. When you love someone you shouldn't expect anything back, it is their choice.
Today do you chose to love irregardless of what you receive, or do you put a price on the love you give? And if you put a price on it, is it truly love?
What does True Love mean to you? Does it come with a cost, or is it free? I urge you to view the very thought of that word "LOVE", what does it mean to you? "I Love You" Does it mean I only love when I get X, Y and Z, or does it mean I only love when I feel it back? Does it mean that you will do anything for that person, you will lay your life down for them irregardless of how they look, smell, what they have said or how much they have chosen to love you today?
What happens when you give all? Are you afraid to try it? Yes, love may be free, but it also comes with a cost, the cost is we have to except that it may contain pain, hurt and rejection, but without those things we would not understand True Love.
Today Love is free to give, how will you love the one you are with? Are you giving them 100%, or are you only giving just enough to get by?
We only get back what they are willing to give us, but should that change how much we give?
The answer is NO. We give not for what we receive, we give because we say we love. The word love is giving up of who we are for the person we say we love. It means surrendering (maybe that is not an understood word) but we give to that person irregardless of what we receive back. A gift is given without expecting anything in return, love is given without expecting anything in return. When you love someone you shouldn't expect anything back, it is their choice.
Today do you chose to love irregardless of what you receive, or do you put a price on the love you give? And if you put a price on it, is it truly love?
What does True Love mean to you? Does it come with a cost, or is it free? I urge you to view the very thought of that word "LOVE", what does it mean to you? "I Love You" Does it mean I only love when I get X, Y and Z, or does it mean I only love when I feel it back? Does it mean that you will do anything for that person, you will lay your life down for them irregardless of how they look, smell, what they have said or how much they have chosen to love you today?
What happens when you give all? Are you afraid to try it? Yes, love may be free, but it also comes with a cost, the cost is we have to except that it may contain pain, hurt and rejection, but without those things we would not understand True Love.
Today Love is free to give, how will you love the one you are with? Are you giving them 100%, or are you only giving just enough to get by?
Thoughts for Monday
Can we be truly free with we hoard all our feelings, fears, worries, doubts, joy and sorrow?
I am beginning to think that in order for us to truly live, we need to share the very things that we have hidden deep within ourselves, because with fear, can we truly be alive? If we hide the very essence of who we are, who will really know us?
I believe it is high time that the people we say we love, we share all with them. Even the scary stuff, because if we hide the little things, it is easy to hide more each day. When we say we love someone, that means we give them all of us and that is everything.
Are you willing to share your secrets with your partner? Are you willing to open up and be honest no matter what? Today when you say I love you, think what that 4 letter word means to you. Does it mean that you are willing to bare all, not just your flesh, but your heart, soul and mind to them? Today change starts with you. What are you willing to give to the one you love? Will you give them those secrets that you hide even from yourself?
We say we love, but yet how far will it go? We say we love our kids so much, but what happens when they don't do what you think they should do we love them less? Same goes with the one you are with. Love is deeper then the skin, is your love deeper then the skin, deeper then just the things that you think your partner can handle? Is it deeper or is it only as deep as you feel safe? Love is about so much more then just the basic, it is time to reach deeper and see that you are more then just a word. You are who you chose to be, today do you chose love, or do you chose surface love, safe love, or do you chose true love?
I am beginning to think that in order for us to truly live, we need to share the very things that we have hidden deep within ourselves, because with fear, can we truly be alive? If we hide the very essence of who we are, who will really know us?
I believe it is high time that the people we say we love, we share all with them. Even the scary stuff, because if we hide the little things, it is easy to hide more each day. When we say we love someone, that means we give them all of us and that is everything.
Are you willing to share your secrets with your partner? Are you willing to open up and be honest no matter what? Today when you say I love you, think what that 4 letter word means to you. Does it mean that you are willing to bare all, not just your flesh, but your heart, soul and mind to them? Today change starts with you. What are you willing to give to the one you love? Will you give them those secrets that you hide even from yourself?
We say we love, but yet how far will it go? We say we love our kids so much, but what happens when they don't do what you think they should do we love them less? Same goes with the one you are with. Love is deeper then the skin, is your love deeper then the skin, deeper then just the things that you think your partner can handle? Is it deeper or is it only as deep as you feel safe? Love is about so much more then just the basic, it is time to reach deeper and see that you are more then just a word. You are who you chose to be, today do you chose love, or do you chose surface love, safe love, or do you chose true love?
Sunday, September 15, 2013
Hoarders and Outcasts
Over a couple of weekends I volunteered to help an older gentleman move. He lived in a second story apartment and he is an avid book, owl, stamp and coin collector. He collected more and more until soon he had collected so many he couldn't make his way around his apartment. After falling ill, he found that he was lost in his collections.
A group of individuals were sent into help him. They looked at the man and saw he was different, they judged him based on his sexual orientation and as quickly as they could cut and run they did. Do we have the right to judge others based on what they may desire? For a long time in my life I was just like those men, I looked at the outward appearance of a person, or who they were attracted to. What I realized this weekend was, that I do not have the right to judge anyone. I may not agree with them, but that does not mean I have to hate them and does not mean I have to make them an outcast.
I learned that we are all hoarders. We do it differently. Some of us collect dirt and filth on the outside, but most of us collect it on our insides hiding how we are for fear no one would love us, for fear no one can understand us, living in fear and disgust, but to afraid to share it with anyone. We clean the outside really well, but the inside is a disaster, it is all torn apart, but we don't know how to fix that and so we judge others, we make ourselves feel better by point out the unlovable, the hoarders, the outcasts.
Our society has looked at all ranges of people differently through the years. We base how we see them on how much money they make, or who they know or the color of their skin and so on. But what makes someone special, is it who they know, or who they are? I have seen the ugliest people be so warm and loving and it brings me to wonder why. Who am I to judge them based on what they may like verses who they are.
Today I share this with you, not to judge others, but to judge myself for the way I use to be, how I use to judge others based on how they looked, or their sexual orientation, but what I am called to do is share with them and except them right where they are at. We are no better then anyone else and when we think we are, then I better take a hard look in the mirror and see that I am only a man and that is all.
A group of individuals were sent into help him. They looked at the man and saw he was different, they judged him based on his sexual orientation and as quickly as they could cut and run they did. Do we have the right to judge others based on what they may desire? For a long time in my life I was just like those men, I looked at the outward appearance of a person, or who they were attracted to. What I realized this weekend was, that I do not have the right to judge anyone. I may not agree with them, but that does not mean I have to hate them and does not mean I have to make them an outcast.
I learned that we are all hoarders. We do it differently. Some of us collect dirt and filth on the outside, but most of us collect it on our insides hiding how we are for fear no one would love us, for fear no one can understand us, living in fear and disgust, but to afraid to share it with anyone. We clean the outside really well, but the inside is a disaster, it is all torn apart, but we don't know how to fix that and so we judge others, we make ourselves feel better by point out the unlovable, the hoarders, the outcasts.
Our society has looked at all ranges of people differently through the years. We base how we see them on how much money they make, or who they know or the color of their skin and so on. But what makes someone special, is it who they know, or who they are? I have seen the ugliest people be so warm and loving and it brings me to wonder why. Who am I to judge them based on what they may like verses who they are.
Today I share this with you, not to judge others, but to judge myself for the way I use to be, how I use to judge others based on how they looked, or their sexual orientation, but what I am called to do is share with them and except them right where they are at. We are no better then anyone else and when we think we are, then I better take a hard look in the mirror and see that I am only a man and that is all.
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