Doubting

I think most people struggle with doubt. I fight a battle each day to stay focused on the truth, to stay away from the doubt, to see the positive in what is happening or should I say what isn't happening. There are things that get me to sink into the despair and yesterday was a struggle for me. I sunk deep, deeper then I have sunk in a while. I focused on circumstances, things that popped into my head, ideas that I have fought with and I gave into the doubt, it slowly consumed me, making it easier to give into fear and soon I felt all alone, struggling to keep my head above water, drowning in my own sea and that sea was built around the sea of self pity and doubt.

I hate admitting my own struggles, because who wants to say they do these things. Who like admitting there fears in their marriage, or with their kids. No body wants to fail, but in order to learn I think we need to admit our short comings. In school they tested us to see if we knew the information, in life the tests are living each day. Are you passing or failing the tests of life? I know for me some days are a bigger struggle then others.

I know my fears and doubts, like one I will share. Maybe I will be alone for the rest of my life. Maybe that sounds silly to you, but I wonder with my past could it be what my future holds. We all struggle to see the truth, but do we hold onto the wrong things in order to try and stay afloat? Or do you hold onto negatives in order to feel alive?

One thing I know for sure, when i struggle with something and it is bringing me down, I must cut it out of my life. It can't be allowed to continue, because it is like a disease, it will soon take over more areas of my life if I do not cut it out. Same with doubt and fear, they must be cut off in order for the disease to stop spreading.

Today do you see any diseases in your life? Something that is coming between you and what you strive for, between you and your partner, your kids, your family? If you do, you must cut it out, otherwise the disease will spread and once it goes to far it may just kill you, or your relationship, you closeness to your kids, your respect for yourself.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life, what are you going to do with it?