Marriage

It doesn't matter if you are one week in or 100 weeks in, it doesn't really matter how long you have been married, but the biggest thing to realize is that love is defined not by the world and what the world says love is, but God defines love as never ending, it is a choice, not always something that is easy, but God. (Talk about a run on sentence...)

God is at work in all of us and when we put Him first in our lives, in our marriage He transforms us to be able to love unconditionally. I am not saying it is easy, but what things in life that are easy, will ever last? Look at the fad diets or diet pills, they are easy, but it does not last, it takes work to maintain the outward appearance that you want, but each step even though difficult is worth it. Be willing to fight for what you believe is right, change starts with me, I can't change the one I am married too, I can only change me.

I heard this song yesterday and I wanted to put it in here.

Love Is Not A Fight
By Warren Barfield

Love is not a place
To come and go as we please
It's a house we enter in
Then commit to never leave

So lock the door behind you
Throw away the key
We'll work it out together
Let it bring us to our knees

Chorus:
Love is a shelter in a raging storm
Love is peace in the middle of a war
And if we try to leave, may God send angels to guard the door
No, love is not a fight but it's something worth fighting for

To some, love is a word
That they can fall into
But when they're falling out
Keeping that word is hard to do

Chorus:
Love is a shelter in a raging storm
Love is peace in the middle of a war
And if we try to leave, may God send angels to guard the door
No, love is not a fight but it's something worth fighting for

Love will come to save us
If we'll only call
He will ask nothing from us
But demand we give our all

Chorus:
Love is a shelter in a raging storm
Love is peace in the middle of a war
And if we try to leave, may God send angels to guard the door
No, love is not a fight but it's something worth fighting for

I will fight for you
Would you fight for me?
It's worth fighting for

__________________________

Take a chance today to see what God is saying to you, when things are hard, press into God. When you don't think you can make it remember all the promises that God has made:

• All things are possible for those that love Him
• He will not give us to much to handle
• God will never leave us nor forsake us
• He turns everything into good
• Love the Lord your God with all your heart.... because in doing so you stop making it about you.

Where does God have you today? You are going to make it, but stop looking at yourself, stop wondering where God is, because He is right there with you.

Love

Love in its truest sense is not based on feelings, but a determination to show thoughtful actions, even when there seems to be no reward. Don't just follow your heart, you have to lead it. Our hearts will love whatever is easiest, in marriage it isn't always easy to love, but LOVE IS A CHOICE. Make the right choice today.

This is very difficult to do, when the result does not seem to be doing anything. I have been reading a book about love and reading a book about His Needs, Her Needs. The person that wrote the book says that it is generally the wife that has to make the first changes in order for the husband to change the marriage. I have to wonder why that is, if the husband is the head of the house, why he can't do the changing first.

It is time to rise up men of God, time to take leadership in the home, time to take responsibility for your own actions and stop waiting for the wife to make the first move. It is time for us to change, not ask our wives to change first. God instructed us to be the head, just as He is the head of the church, it is time that we fight for our marriages, it is time that we fight for what is right and true, no longer waiting in the shadows, because the only thing in the shadows are hurts and pains.

What are we waiting for men of God? Time to rise up, take a stand today and each day. Take a chance to make a change, change does not happen over night, but it will happen. Allow God to change you and in doing so watch what happens, it will take time, but God is God and He will see you through. Get into His word.

The Bible verse for today is: Proverbs 3:3-4  "Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man."

The Process, Struggles, Hopes and The Ultimate God

Slow Fade

by Casting Crowns

Be careful little eyes what you see
It's the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings
Be careful little feet where you go
For it's the little feet behind you that are sure to follow

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It's a slow fade, it's a slow fade

Be careful little ears what you hear
When flattery leads to compromise, the end is always near
Be careful little lips what you say
For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day

The journey from your mind to your hands
Is shorter than you're thinking
Be careful if you think you stand
You just might be sinking

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
Daddies never crumble in a day
Families never crumble in a day

Oh be careful little eyes what see
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
For the Father up above is looking down in love
Oh be careful little eyes what you see

________________________

Remember that even when you are going through the change process, it is easy to fade away from what God really wants. If we put our trust in outside sources, we miss what God is telling us, where He is leading us. We must lead our hearts, love is a choice, it is not just a feeling. Remember that God chose to love us, He chose to die on the cross for us, what have we done to deserve it? What have we done to deserve to be loved by someone else?

While you are walking the way God calls us to remember it is easy to fade, but harder to stand. God calls us to stand, don't look at the circumstances, look at where God calls you to.

While I'm Waiting
By John Waller

I'm waiting, I'm waiting on You Lord
And I am hopeful, I'm waiting on You Lord
Though it is painful, but patiently I will wait

And I will move ahead bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience

While I'm waiting I will serve You
While I'm waiting I will worship
While I'm waiting I will not faint
I'll be running the race even while I wait

I'm waiting, I'm waiting on You Lord
And I am peaceful, I'm waiting on You Lord
Though it's not easy no, but faithfully I will wait
Yes, I will wait

And I will move ahead bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience

While I'm waiting I will serve You
While I'm waiting I will worship
While I'm waiting I will not faint
I'll be running the race even while I wait

I will move ahead bold and confident
I'll be taking every step in obedience, yeah

While I'm waiting I will serve You
While I'm waiting I will worship
While I'm waiting I will not faint

And I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You Lord

I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting

Press into God, allow Him to change you, for we can't change anyone else, but ourselves. It is God who will change the other person. We are waiting on God, we can't wait on others to change us, nor can we wait on others to change, it is God's way, His timing and keeping our eyes on Him and not the storm that is around me.

This is my hearts cry and the song for marriage, not just mine.

The Marriage Prayer
by John Waller

[Verse 1:]
Father, I said till*
Death do us part
I want to mean it
With all of my heart
Help me to love you
More than I love her
Then I know I can
Love her more
Than anyone else

[Pre:]
And bring her in
Your presence today
Make her what
You want her to be

[Chorus:]
I pray to hear her heart
I pray she'll love you more
I pray to cherish and serve her
And we'll bring you glory today, I pray

[Verse 2: ~Josee Waller~]
Father, I said till
Death do us part
I want to mean it
With all of my heart
Help me to love you
More than I love him
Then I know I can
Love him more
Than anyone else

[Pre:]
And bring him in
Your presence today
Make him what
You want him to be

Chorus:

Bridge:
Lord, help me love her
As you love the church, your bride
(Josee) Help me submit to him
As I submit to you, my life

Chorus: (2x)

Out:
This is my prayer Amen
____________________________

Remember you can't follow your heart, you have to lead your heart. Love is a choice, the world says that once you fall out of love you should get out. Isn't it time to learn from others that have gone through difficulties? Today is a new day and who created this day? Don't you think He knows just what today holds?

Outward Beauty and Inward Pain or Beauty

There was a very difficult time in my life, I strayed from what God wanted me to do. I walked my own way and in that way,

I lived in this house and on the outside of the house was gardens, flowers, trees, there was a vegetable garden all maintained to the hilt. I mean this place looked beautiful, it was an old house with an old barn, but it looked so nice. The outward appearance made it look inviting, it made it look like that house would be beautiful on the inside, but it wasn't. That house was filled with hatred, hurts, lies, deceit, pains and so much more. People that couldn't get along. It was a shell, hiding the truth of all that had happened, and the owner kept up on the outside to hide the hideous nature of what was behind closed doors.

I am thinking of that today as I sit here at work and realize how true that is in so many of our lives. We adorn ourselves in jewelry, makeup, fancy hair cuts, cologne, we are afraid of someone seeing the real hurt and turmoil that is happening on the inside. We shield ourselves from anyone getting close to us, by putting on an act of everything is fine, but yet we know all to well that we are a mess, that we are hurting and afraid. We want to hide that truth from people that may look at us, but the truth is what is on the inside will slowly manifest itself on the outside.

God knows what is on the inside, the things that we are trying to hide from others, God knows what is in our hearts, our minds, what is behind the intentions, He is well aware of all of it, but still He loves us regardless, yes I am sure it grieves Him, but He continues to reach into our lives to make the best of us.

If we are what we think we are, then why not change the ugly turmoil that is inside our lives and give it to God? God made me, He knew what pains I would have, what fears I would fight, He knew the struggles that I would face day to day, but He made me and He loves me still. He continues to say Geoff surrender to me, give it to Me, those feelings of failure, they are Mine, give them to Me. Those feelings of selfishness, give them to Me, for it can't be about you Geoff, it must be about Me.

When we make life about us, we miss the point of what God wants life to be about. Life must be about, God first. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and mind and then love your neighbor, your friend, your brother, your wife, your husband, your kids.

We are how we see ourselves

Yesterday in the service, the pastor talked about how if we see ourselves as sinners, we will continue to walk in the sins and it is easier to except when we fall, but if we are to be as Christ followers we should be willing to see ourselves as Saints, just as Paul refers to the church. I thought of myself as a sinner saved by grace, I would have not called myself a saint. He shared with us the following story and I thought it very true and almost as affirmation of the things I have talked about in the past. I say we are what we think ourselves to be, just like we are what we eat. Here is the story and I hope it will help you to look at yourself not as a sinner saved by grace, because we have been transformed from the sinner to the saint. Walk in the saint, by putting on God.

The Happy Hypocrite By Max Beerbohm

Lord Hell has a lady friend. One night he is at an outdoor play with his lady friend when he is smitten by a young dancer on the stage. Her name is Jenny, and she is pure and saintly. A dwarf, sitting next to Lord George Hell, later revealed as cupid, fires an arrow into Hell’s heart.

Lord George boldly proposes to Jenny, but she refuses, saying she can only marry a man with the face of a saint. Upset and confused, Lord George Hell wanders the streets all night. In the morning he comes upon a shop where masks are made, and he asks for a mask that looks like a saint. The shop keeper quickly accommodates.

Lord George Hell’s lady friend sees him and confronts him, but with his new identity, he acts like he does not know her. He plans to return that evening to see Jenny perform again, but he unexpectedly runs into her that day. Cupid shows up at the same time and fires an arrow into her heart. Lord George Hell, wearing the mask of a saint, proposes marriage. Since he has the face of a saint, she accepts his proposal.

Hell's transformation continues when he has to sign the marriage license. He can’t sign as Lord George Hell for fear that Jenny will see him as he really is, so he signs as Lord George Heaven. Behind the mask his transformation continues. He returns money that he received from cheating while gambling, donating it to charities.

He then buys a little cottage to live in, a significant step down from his large house. After about a month of marriage, Lord George’s old lady friend shows up, challenging him about his identity. She refuses to leave until she can his true face. He refuses, so she attacks him. A three way scuffle develops, as Jenny tries to stop the attack. During the scuffle, Lord George’s mask is pulled off by his former lover.

Everything stops! Lord George fears the worst—that Jenny will reject him, when she sees his true face. But the most remarkable thing has happened. Lord George’s face has changed and conformed and now looks like the saintly mask that he’s been wearing. Jenny delights in seeing his real face, the wicked lover leaves, and the mask melts in the sun.

__________________________________________________________

I found that story so true. If we see ourselves as negative and never put on the mask of a positive person, we will always be negative. If we say we will always be a sinner, we will not strive to be a saint. Cloth yourself today in God, allow Him to change you, but you must be willing to work on being a better person, otherwise you will always be just what you are and never work towards who God is making you. Today will you cloth yourself in the sinner saved by grace or as a Saint that God has allowed us to be?

Letting It Go

I talked yesterday about laying down our lives, today I want to talk about letting it go. That song from the movie Frozen comes to mind... Let it go, let it go... It is so easy to say, but so much harder to do. Most things I talk about are easy to put into words, but so much harder to actually do.

When we ask our spouse to forgive us, we need to be willing to learn from the mistakes and let them go. I think it is human flesh that wants to hold onto everything. Ephesians 4:31-32 "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." If I hold onto the wrong that was done, I hold onto the very thing that God says let go of and by holding onto it, I pull not only myself down, but I pull those around me down too. Isaiah 43:18-19 "“Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert."

It is easy to feel like we are on a island all alone when going through hard times, but remember that God is with us, that He will never leave us nor forsake us. He says in Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." That to me means that He knows just what we are going through, that He has plans for us and even in the hard things that He will have His way, no matter how difficult they are for us. God is in it and He will have His way in our lives, it can take me allowing Him to do it in His timing, or I can fight with Him and He still do it in His timing, but it just takes me longer to understand all He is doing in my life.

I want to allow Him to be Lord of my life, I want Him to be captain of the ship. Our flesh wants us to be in control, but God wants to be in control, but we must lay down our lives, we must let go of our will, our way, our expectations and allow Him to fill us with Himself. Who are you putting on today? Put on God, put on the amour of God and allow Him to lead the way. It doesn't mean there will not be hard times, but it does mean that He will direct your path. Caution... There may be harder times, because you are allowing God and no longer feeding the flesh with the lies of the enemy, the enemy doesn't want you to change, but God says with Him all (ALL) things are possible. Are you willing to take a dive and allow God?

There are around 54 verses in the bible that talk about letting go, there is a reason for that. Are you holding onto things? What will those things do to you? Allow God and He will make straight your path. I am learning all of this, not easy, but GOD.

Laying Down Our Lives

Jesus was the classic example of what we were to be and how we were to be. He loves us regardless of how we treat Him, regardless of the respect we show Him. Can you imagine that? We are called to that as husbands to lay down our lives for our wives. We are called to be just as Jesus was and is, but we are so quick to point the finger if only she would do this, but does God say that to us? No, He doesn't, He laid down His life for us, with no regard, He stood in our place and He walks each day with us, but how are we to Him?

I am a husband, father, and step father, I have fallen down to this very point, that I am to be just like Jesus is and was. I am to represent my family regardless of the cost. I am not saying it is easy to do, but God has written about it in the bible about how the husband is to be the head of the home, just as Jesus is the head of the church. It is so easy to say, but and if, but does Jesus do that? Does Jesus say if they treat me better, I will be a better Jesus, I will love them more or any of that? He doesn't, He loves us unconditionally just as we are called to love our wives, our kids, our step kids. We are to teach them in God's way, not our own way.

Yes it is easier not to do this, but what kind of example are we being to our family, if I were to say if my wife treats me better, then I will. The if and then statements do not work in marriage. We are called to love regardless of how we may feel, regardless of the circumstances and we are called to lay down our lives for them. Are you willing to lay down your wife for your spouse unconditionally. I don't think this is an easy task, but it is what God calls us to and it is written that He will give us the strength we need. We need to lay down our lives for Him, that includes our wants, our expectations, our desires. We need to lay down our lives for Jesus and in that we are allow Him to take control. Who is captain of your ship? It can't be me and it can't be about me, it has to be about Jesus first.

3 strands, He is the center and we are woven around Him, He is leading and we are growing closer together, not pulling apart. When I say I want my way, we are pulling away from Jesus and when we fight for control we are pulling away. If Jesus is the center, allow Him to lead. Men we have been called to live by example, but if we are unable to love unconditionally, what kind of example are we being?

Food for thought, are you in control or is God? Who is captain of your ship? Put on Jesus Christ allow Him to guide you in the steps of marriage. I know I need His help, His patience, His wisdom and even though difficult He is in it all. He knew and knows just what we would be going through nothing is a surprise to Him. Isn't that an amazing thought?

Have a good night.