Daring to Love (Unconditionally)

Why would I write such a title, because above all else, love is a choice. Yes, when you first fall for the other person, you tend to not focus on the things that may drive you crazy, but as the blissfulness fades and reality sets in, we tend to see more of the persons faults we are with. Love is a choice at this point. Love isn't just a word to through around, it is an action, not a reaction. It is a struggle some days and some days it is easy. Just like I wrote about in the "Easy Way" we tend to think love will be easy all the time, but it is not. We think when love gets hard, that we are no longer in love. Men think love means sex, ok at least some men think that.

Have you ever noticed in marriage, that you get married, you love doing things together and you love spending time together. When the bliss of marriage starts wearing thin, you wonder if you did the right thing. You talk to other people about your concerns and soon your mind is filled with the thoughts that maybe you made the wrong choice. It is easy to forget why we fell in love with the person in the first place. Maybe we say it was forced, maybe we say we where in a bad spot and it was a bad choice, but maybe we just fell in love with the person, because there is so much to love and just like my pink elephant example, when people put doubt in our mind, the doubt grows and it is hard to let the doubt and fear go.

We tend to forget the very things that we fell in love with, when confronted with other choices. Or we see other marriages and we say we want that, or we see other people going out and having a good time (that is how our brain sees it), but the good times wear thin really quickly. We think we are missing so much by being with one person, but what we don't realize is that we are gaining life and happiness. We have forgotten how to date, how to keep on courting our spouses. It is about giving the other person the same things we want. It is freedom, but it is love.

I have read and heard there are 5 languages of love that different people understand. We all love differently and we all understand love differently, it is learning the love language of your spouse. Here are the different ones:

1. Words of affirmation
2. Acts of service (this is without being asked)!!!
3. Receiving gifts
4. Quality time (This does not just mean sex...)
5. Physical touch

What love language does your spouse like? If you do not know, then you need to figure it out. It is time that you stop making excuses about falling out of love and start choosing to love regardless. It is about doing things and expecting nothing in return. It is about giving and yes giving. It isn't about the easy way. Ignite the fire, it is your choice. Do you want to learn to love or look for the easy way?

Daring to love is a choice, it is your choice and by loving the other person unconditionally means that no matter what they do or say, you will still love them. No matter what happens you have laid down your life for them and you will continue to do so, because that is what love is. Love is taking of yourself and giving regardless of how you feel. Do you know how hard that is to do? Some would say impossible, but all things are possible. Do you believe that love is worth it? I do and I believe that the one you are with is worth the love you can give them, it is a choice and today it is a choice where you surrender your very wants to love the other no matter what, no matter how bad your day was, it is about giving and asking nothing in return. When one can lay down their life for the one they claim to love, that is true love. When one surrenders the very thought of others and puts his or her spouse before all else, that is love. When one does not ring their own bell or toot their own horn, that is love. It is time we start learning the true meaning of the word love.

If you love your kids, do you love them unconditionally. Is it easy all the time? At times do you want to throw in the towel? Yes you do, but they are your kids and you know that you are their parent and you don't give up. So the same thing goes with marriage.** It is time that we start seeing the truth for what it is and not what others make it.

It is time to dare to love our spouses, it is time we see and learn the true meaning of the word love. It is time to stop looking for others and start looking right at home. Are you ready? I will write more on love in the future, this is just the beginning.

**There are deal breakers in a marriage and/or relationship.  If you are being beaten physically, mentally or emotionally abused, you will need to take corrective actions. I am not saying stay with the person that is causing you harm.