A New Day

Today is a new day, this day contains a new way, but it has to be taken, it has to be chosen. Are you willing to look at your life and chose the new way or will life be about what it always has been?

My life was all about what I wanted, what drove me was to be happy, was to feel anything, whether good or bad. I was depressed at times, because life was all about me. I tried to fill it with relationships, but that didn't work because they were all about me. I lost or maybe I had never seen that life can't be about me. It was enough to drive me crazy, but when I thought I had someone to define me, I was good. But the honest truth is no person can define another person. The only truth that I found was I was lost, I was alone and I feared being more alone and so I held onto the person that I thought defined me. When my second wife left me, I thought life was over, the definition of who I was, was tied up in who we where. I was broken and alone without the definition of who I thought I was. I said I was a father, a husband, a friend, a step-father, but that is only who I was because that is what I tried to define myself as. It was a very hard couple of years, waiting to see what God did in my marriage, what God did in my wife's heart, but then I realized it can't be about my wife, it can't be about her kids, it has to be about God.

Defining ourselves can't be about are we a good husband/wife, father/mother, friend, it has to be about what God wants of us. It is when we are able to put God before ourselves, before what we want that we are able to see what He wants or at least be defined by Him. It isn't a choice that you make once in a lifetime, it is a moment by moment choice, because what tries to come first in all we do? We try to come first no matter what choices we are making. I got lost and in my losing of myself I lost the very thing that has to define who I am. My strength can not come from me, it has to come from God.

When we start our day, it isn't about what I want this day to hold, but about what God wants this day to hold for me. When we are able to put God first in all we do, is when we can walk free from depression, addictions and so much more, but it is a challenge. God did not say it was going to be easy, He did not say this road isn't full of hard times, but He has given us choices to make along the way. What do you want this day to contain?

I heard a song last night and I really think it is so important. God wants us to be completed in Him, God wants us to define who we are through Him. Are you willing to surrender what you want and give it completely to God?

"Keep Making Me"

Make me broken

So I can be healed

‘Cause I’m so calloused

And now I can’t feel

I want to run to You

With heart wide open

Make me broken

Make empty

So I can be filled

‘Cause I’m still holding

Onto my will

And I’m completed

When you are with me

Make me empty

[Chorus:]

‘Til You are my one desire

‘Til You are my one true love

‘Til You are my breath, my everything

Lord, please keep making me

Make me lonely

So I can be Yours

‘Til I want no one

More than You, Lord

‘Cause in the darkness

I know You will hold me

Make me lonely

Are you willing to be broken, to be empty, to be lonely to have God fill you with Himself? It is a hard step, but it is only through God that this can happen.

One last thing... I thought that this was not possible, I thought it was impossible, I thought it wasn't for me, I thought a lot of things and found out in order for God to fill me, to define me that I needed to let go of the very things that I thought defined who I am. It is only then that He can define us. We become callous and full of pain, but it is only God that can heal us. Smoking will not heal us, going from relationship to relationship will not heal us, being loose will not heal us, but being what God is defining for us will.

More of Him, less of me until He is all I see.