Blaming

I was thinking this morning about blame. If I am an alcoholic and I blame it on other people, my situation, or even my parents or grandparents, I will not get to the issue. Until I am willing to look at myself will there be any help that comes to me. I have heard many people blame other people for their actions, instead of looking at themselves.

It is so much easier to say I did it because the devil made me do it, instead of actually saying I did it and I was wrong. When I take the responsibility for my actions, I want to change, but until I am willing to say it was my fault, I was wrong and I am sorry, will you forgive me, then nothing will change. In Proverbs 28:13-14 it talks about this very thing
"13 Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, 
but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.
14 Blessed is the one who always trembles before God, 
but whoever hardens their heart falls into trouble."

There is a 3 step to take when we have done something to hurt someone.

1. Admitting saying what I did wrong. It is taking responsibility for my actions, it is saying I was wrong to have hurt you, or to have treated you this way, or even what the alcoholics have to do, Hi my name is XXXX and I am an alcoholic. It is them admitting what they are that starts the change process.
2. Than saying I am sorry, that is a hard thing to have to do, because it takes responsibility to a whole new level, because being sorry, means I am going to do what it takes to not do it again. 
3. Will you forgive me? That is a hard thing to say, because it throws myself on the mercy of the other person, admitting, taking responsibility and then asking forgiveness for my actions. This means that I am going to do what I can to make sure that I don't do it again, it means taking the steps to ensure that it is over and I need to do what it takes to let it go.

All of this is possible, but as soon as you blame your actions on someone else, it is no longer possible to be sincere when asking the above 3. If I say I was wrong, but it is because you made me angry and that is why I said those mean things. I blamed my actions on you, not taking responsiblity for my words that hurt.

Isn't it time that we stop putting blame on others and start looking at ourselves to see the wrongs we are committing, isn't it time that we are adults and take the steps it takes to admit our faults. We are to be examples to others, but when we blame others for our actions, we are saying that we have no choice, that we can be anyway we want to be, because that is just how it goes. We have a choice to act, to be a certain way. When we stop blaming it on others, we start taking action to be who God calls us to be.

In the Bible it talks about blaming others. In Romans 2:1 it says "You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things."