Breaking

I was thinking this morning about all I have gone through in my life. God didn't break me, until it was His time. When I was first born, it is like I was a jar, in the process of growing up, that jar got cracked and warn out, all my thoughts, my thinking was about me. I went through many years of my life thinking that it was all about me and God couldn't know what was best for me, because I knew what was best for me. He couldn't tell me what to do, because I wanted to do it my way, because my way was always right. People would tell me I was doing it wrong, or walking the wrong path, but I was stubborn, I still wanted to do it my way. The more people told me, the more I turned my back, because I thought I was right and how could they know what was best for me. No one knew me better than I knew myself. The Bible has a verse about this in Romans 8:27 "And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God." God knows me better than I know myself. That jar that I was, by the time I reached adulthood, had so many cracks so many holes in it, that it could not hold anything. The word of God is like water, but I couldn't hold it because I was cracked, chipped away.

At that point in my life, all my choices, all my thoughts came crashing down around me. I thought I knew best, but God said He knows my inner thoughts, my needs. He took the jar that I was and smashed me into pieces. God wasn't done yet with me, in fact that was just the beginning, because He wanted to remake me, He wanted to purify me in order to remake me His own. I was in pieces, but that He began to grind those pieces saying, Geoff let Me work in you. Still my stubborn nature, I tried to fight and resist what He was doing in my life. Each piece of clay jar that I was needed to be ground to dust. It was the hardest time in my life as He worked the way I once thought out of me, when He taught me the choices I once made, I needed to make based on Him and not what I thought. This breaking process was not easy, I fought to hold onto things, I tried to tell God that I knew better than Him and I fought to keep area's in my life that I thought were OK, but God said they were not. In my brokenness I had to surrender and that was the hardest thing to do. I had to say Lord, it can't be about me, but has to be about You. I had to stop fighting Him, because He knows me better and it is in His timing that I broke.

Through the devastation of my life, through the ruin. He took the dust that I became and added water. The water was revelation, it was understanding about choice and how choices impact me every moment of the day. The water was so much more, but it was His living water and in the water, He started to reshape me, to make me who He desired me to be. Still it isn't easy, because my old will creeps in and raises its ugly head. I have to continue to say Lord I give it to You, I give You my life, because You know better than me. It is called complete surrender and when I am able to surrender to Him, to die to myself, to my wants and all and to replace them with His, He starts to reform me into a something else. He is still making me, He is not done with me yet, He is changing me from glory to glory. I by far am not perfect, but God is the Lord of my life and I continue to surrender to Him. I fail, but in my failures I learn and I grow. I want to do life His way, to do it how He has designed it to be done and in doing so, what I once was to what I am not has like night and day, but it was through His glory and faithfulness that I am who I am today.

Through the writing of this blog, you have seen what God is doing in my life. Thank you for reading and taking the time to see what God is saying to me.

If you experience the breaking process, although it hurts, what God is doing is incredible. He is making you more like Him every day. What I have learned, I continue to share, but God has placed people in my life for a reason, His plans are far greater than my plans, His timing is perfect. Who am I to think otherwise? He knows, I need to place all my trust in Him, not the world, not people, but in God, the creator of the universe, my Heavenly Father. He knows all, He designed all, His way is for the best and He has a plan. Do you trust Him? You can, He knows!!!