I struggled for a long time with what is love and when it is a feeling, it is easy to do, but when it I don't feel loved it is very difficult to love. At that point, love becomes a choice and to be like Jesus I must be willing to make that choice, because if I do not, I am being just the enemy of our lives has set out for us to be. The Devil wants to rob us of our choices, he is constantly reminding us how hard things are, but God says all things are possible for those that love Him, that we need to pray without ceasing, that we need to be willing to say, not my will but Your will, but that it hard when we don't feel like it, but I believe that is the reason there is so much written in the Bible about us doing as Jesus wants us to do and not doing what "I" want to do. We are flawed, but that is so that we will rely on Jesus and not on our feelings.
When we rely on our feelings we harden our heart from the truth of who God is and when we do that, it is all about feelings and is not about what God wants in us. The scripture that comes to mind is
1 Corinthians 13:1-3 "If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing." Without love I am nothing. I didn't say it, God said it. Without the truth of love what am I? When we look at love is, we will see that love is no longer about a feeling, because when someone has wronged you our nature says wrong them back, but God says Love them. Look at 1 Corinthians 13:4-13 we must have love to be like Jesus and without it we are just like the world.
What is Jesus calling us to? If you are struggling to love like Jesus, it requires death of self, because we want love to be about a feeling and God wants it to be about a choice. In our marriages, this is clearer than the sun, because there are times when it is hard to love the other, but God designed marriage to be like a relationship that is to reverence Him and when we are doing it for self gain, it is no longer about God, but about self. When we only do it because it feels good, we are no longer being what God calls us to be. That is we need to die to who we are and live for who He wants us to be. If I harden my heart to God's truth, I will not see love for what it is, but see it for what the world sees it as. That is a feeling. God calls us to a higher place and when we can't seem to do what God calls us to, that is a sin, because no longer is it about God, but about self.
Are you following God or are you following your heart? When we follow God, it will not always be easy, but in the end our reward will be out of this world.
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