Today is a hard day for me. I will explain why, see my mentor was my mother and God took her home on October 31 of this year. I would call her when I was struggling with a spiritual question or something that just seemed clear to me, but not to others that I was talking to. She would challenge me, she wouldn't regurgitate what I was saying and repeated it back to me and I find that with so many people I speak to, she would think about it and really think about how to approach it from a different direction to point it out so that I could see it from a different point of view. I miss that so much, I miss my Mom so much and I know it hasn't been long that she has been gone, but it is hard to admit these very things, because it is the emptiness and voids that will not be filled, because people don't understand me, nor do they try too. They want to just answer questions, they don't want to think about what is the best answer or just what is the right answer, they just want to answer it and move on. That wasn't her, she wanted the answer to stick, she wanted it to make sense and for it to matter. That is the type of person I want to be, I don't want to just give an answer, that is just a quick response to shut someone up, but to really think about it, to chew on it and then to give an answer that is well thought out, that makes sense, that takes a step back and looks at it from different directions. I guess that is why I am writing this. My struggle that I am having is the this.
Thanksgiving, we are called in the Bible, by God to give thanksgiving in all circumstances, I think that is correct, I have no issue with that. I believe it is clearly stated more than 30 times in the Bible. My issue is how do you get someone to see that is our choice to do? Or is it truly our choice? Is this something that God has to reveal to us? I don't really know the answer to the question. I think that the revelation is clearly stated in the Bible, what more is there to be had, but I was told that is left up to interpretation, but how can give thanks in all circumstances be interrupted differently?
I miss my Mom and she would help me to see that I am to hard on people, that God loves despite this and that He will show them regardless of this. But one day they will have that ah ha moment, that head slap moment where it will all click, maybe that is what we all had, I don't know and we as humans can't push that time. I just want it all to happen quicker than God's timing. I know my timing is not God's timing at all, it seems like Geoff's timing I want everything to happen in the now, the right now, but God says in my time Geoff I am doing a greater work in the now, that needs to be done before the ah ha moment, wait for it. Patience is not a strong suit of mine. I am in the school of the spirit, He is ever teaching me and so I sit at the feet of Father and learn.
I'm so saddened for your pain Geoff. I have been reading in Revelation about how God will wipe away every tear. No death or sorrow. It seems far away and yet not. I know God will give you such comfort and allow you to feel the sorrow and to listen to you when you feel alone. He has done that for me countless of times. And He listens and loves more than anyone could. I love to get up early just to be alone in the dark with Him, with a tiny light and His presence brings me to tears. He has taught me about thankfulness over the years through His word and revelation. We can give Him thanks because He has overcome the world, and He won't leave us. Take comfort Geoff, the Lord sees you, He loves you just as He loves Your mom. I believe the more you sit at His feet, the more He will give you all you need in this season. God bless you.
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