I have realized in my life how hard it is to surrender and dying to myself is. My will is very strong, my human flesh wants what it wants and it wants it, it doesn't want to wait on anyone and it is hard to just say in Your timing Lord. It is hard just to lay it all down and say no longer my will but Yours be done.
Do you know what Jesus went through before He died for our sins, have you ever really thought about it? I know today I was thinking about it and really praising Him for it, because can you imagine what He went through, not just His death, but His life. Take some time and think with me today about it.
In heaven God knew just what He is and was doing. He was sending His son Jesus to live among us, He knew how people would treat Him, He knew that He would be a human, but God with skin on. He knew He would bleed and go through just what we go through every day. He was a baby, who grew into a boy and then into a teenager, I am sure that this was not easy on Him, just like it isn't easy on us. He was probably picked on, He was born of a virgin, how many kids can claim that? He was different then the other kids, because He knew the laws, He knew more than you and I know and He was just a kid. Then He grew into a man and all this time, He knew that there would be a day He would die for our sins, that was no surprise to Him. I have trouble with all I have to think about and then to think about my death, well that is just hard to do, to plan for what will happen after I die, can you imagine He already knew it all, but it still didn't make it easier. Before He was to surrender to the soldiers He was in the garden waiting and praying, do you know during that time, He was praying that God take this cup from Him, that He wouldn't have to go through this. Do you see the irony in that? He was God, but didn't want to die, but He excepted it for us and we have to do the same for Him, just we do not have to hang on a cross, we have to surrender our will for His, we have to die to our human flesh and wants and live for Jesus Christ.
I fight with God to do the very thing that Jesus did for me and what does dying look like, it looks like giving up my will, my self centered nature and saying Your will, Your way Lord. It is every time a thought that is about me, giving it to God and saying Lord I am surrendering myself to you. When ever I make life about me, it becomes stressed out, I get anxious, I worry, I doubt, I struggle, because it is based on what I want, instead of it being based on what Jesus Christ wants in me.
When I surrender all to Him and I die to what I want, I am able to allow the Holy Spirit to lead me, to direct me, to speak to me, because no longer am I lost in a sea of self, but I am lost in Him who saves me daily. What is the common thread in me, it is me that wants to remain in control, it is me that wants to do what I want to do, it is my self and self will kill me, but God says it is His way, not mine. I have to be willing to die, before I can live with Him.
I think it comes down to complete belief and trust in Jesus Christ. See we know water is wet, because we can feel it, we know that snow is cold, because it will not snow unless it is cold. We believe that the wall is hard, because when we bang our heads on it, we can't get through it and it hurts. We have no problem believing those things, but when it comes down to putting our complete trust and faith in God whom we can not see, we have to have complete and utter faith that He is there. It is very difficult to surrender all to Him, to lay everything at His feet, because we want flesh, but Jesus says when we believe in Him we will be saved. That belief is believing that still small voice that you hear in your heart is Him, it is trusting it without question and that is hard for us to do, but not impossible, because when we believe in Jesus Christ it says all things are possible, it takes us taking the first step of believing, then taking the next step of dying so that we can live in complete freedom. It can't be my will, it can't be about what I want flesh wise, it must be about what Jesus Christ wants. His laws are very clear, His way is very clear and when we follow Him those things are very clear to us. He will not go against what He has directed and He will lead us to the very truth in His word. When we put Him first, when we follow Him, you will see things change, but it takes work.
Are you willing to climb the mountain, to do the work? It isn't just about allowing life to pass you by, it is about taking hold of the truth and allow the Holy Spirit to fill you and do it with His strength and not our own.
Hard truth, but the Bible says the truth will set you free and you will be free indeed. And Jesus is the way, the truth and the light, His way is higher than my way and His will much more direct then mine. He will have His way in my life.
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