The Blame Game

When you were growing up, did you have brothers and/or sisters? Did you play the blame game with them and your parents? It was easy to point the finger and say no it wasn't me, it was her. As you grew up have you found yourself still playing that game? It may happen at work, but more times it happens in your marriage, in your relationship.

I was thinking how easy at work it is to point the finger, in marriage to point the finger and by doing this we are avoiding taking the responsibility of our own actions, of our own mistakes and we are passing them onto someone else. It would be easy for me to blame my father for how I am, because he did not raise me, didn't show me what a father was like, or what a marriage should be like, but what would I learn from that. I could blame my mother, because maybe she wasn't there when I needed her most, but really it is my responsiblity to take the actions that are needed to be who I am. The choices I make, the place in life I am today is not about what others did, it was about my choices. Have you ever used the statement, if my "wife/husband" or "boyfriend/girlfriend" would do this, then it would be better? I have done it, more times then I would like to admit.

Isn't it time we stop pointing fingers and realize we are adults and that our choices are what we make of them. Stop pointing the finger and blaming others for the choices you make. I have had to learn that I can't put the blame on anyone else, because then I have 10 fingers pointing right back at me. It is time that we realize that the change you are looking for starts with you.

Have you noticed the things that annoy us about another person is generally area's we need to deal with in ourselves? Change starts with you.

If you want more communication, sometimes it takes engaging into conversation, each day take a topic and discuss it. Sometimes it may be a battle, but maybe instead of having the TV on, enjoy some quality time together. Set aside sometime. Maybe it is time to share a book, read it together and discuss it. Change has to start somewhere and the area's that are lacking, learn how to engage how to deal with your partner, it is time for us to be different, it is time.

I think I said it already, but CHANGE STARTS WITH YOU, you can't change your partner, but you can change yourself, by you changing, the changes you may see can be amazing, but don't say you have tried it, if you only tried for a day or a week. Look how long it took to get this way and realize that most changes do not happen over night. Realize if you want it, believe it, walk it, live it and except the time it will take. Don't give up, for if you want something bad enough you strive for it, you work for it and one step at a time and you will have it.